the one you left behind

2008-09-26T15:39:00.003+08:00

mark my words:
FRM NOW IM GONNA SHUT D HELL UP!
dont bother talking to me.
fucked up.
and yes i did badly for my prelims..
but den agn. whoever said im not gonna do well for my 0s?
so what if u did oke?or better? u dun actuali hve to make it s0und like I WASN'T
trying... neither shuld u make it sound tt it was bcause i was close to her... idk u animore.you jus dun hve to rub it in. the reason y i hang out wif her alot was cus she was sumone i realised i could turn to. and yes she wun look down on me indirectly.

since my laptop's gonna b confiscated, i wun b blogging aft dis post till... idk aft my 0s?
dun even bother to text me cus my fone's gg away too...

she wants me to stay away frm my friends.my close friends.
but i noe the one who will stand by my all the way too.
and its definately not her*.
jus so u noe. she said tt im not d same person i was months ago.
n tt i was distracted.
by?
idk d answer even.

yes im gonna hve to sae im not tt bloody sweet looking innocent gal i was.
and yes i hvd a chng of attitude.
but den again.she* dun hve to make me sound like i was hanging ard wif her too much.
i dun care animore.
i dun even care if u hate me.
i wun hve tym for u to cnfront me.
so.. wadeva
if u like it den talk to me.
if u don't den forget it!
u WERE there but not animore.
and u jus kip putting d blame on her.
which i srsly hve to sae im d one who noes wad's gg on wif her and tt im not happy tt ur duin dis to her.
im better off alone aniwaes.
got plenty more things in my head den to care about my friendship.
my freedom has ended well enuf.
assignment books are where i start.
meals are not impt either.
leaving my whole princess life behind for now.
after reading dis post,
u may consider returning to my blog aft november.

im srsly fucked up.
so.rite now.im suppose to b a mute and a deaf.
so dun bother talking to me either.
cus i might jus smile and walk away.
im gonna shut d hell up.
so if ur not not happy wif me,
jolly well jus fuck off my life.
its taken over aniwaes.

happy endings can wait till dis nightmare's over.
seemed like he's duin fine. real fine. wish things were better u noe.
though i've not bee seeing his sweet sweet smile animore,
he's still on my head.
been thinking abt him alot lately.
but i gues he's not d reason.
it was my fault.
he seem to alwaes appear at myy sight recently.
i jus cant shift my attention away when he's ard.
i miss him...
i reli do...

2008-09-25T17:11:00.002+08:00

strangers we become as day by day time goes...
not by myy side no more.

At first I thought I met a love like never before.
Always by my side you were
our love was strong.
But the days seemed to have slipped away.
I want to runaway and theres no where to run to...
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye
To find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here

nth else to sae...
its strange how we culd becum strangers in 1 day.
not evenn looking;not even smiling; dun hve hve to sae bout talking.
jus a glance and dey'll sae...
i miss you aniwaes...
idk y i kip tinking of u dese daes...
but dere's someone hu's getting in my wae.

study.study.study.

2008-09-24T17:00:00.002+08:00

sku agn...
i was almost late siol...
lucki uhs...
yeashhh uhs...
wedensdaes can balik at 1315 alrdy..
no nd cme..
no nd assembly...
baik ape!!!!
im gg crazy agn...as usual..
lit was d most interesting tdy...
d rest uhs... like shit uh...
so bloody boring...
chem was oke xcept it was in d morn n we had test.. so not so interesting aniwaes...
idk how mdm irma culd make d bloody heartland book sound so interesting when its so bloody boring...
...
i finalli bought tt larndyard...
...
yeshhh arrrrrrrhhhhhhhh...
getta b in sec one camp next yr agn...
nxt yrs sec ones muss b suparrr lucki to hve 5 daes of camp...
i got nth else to ssae...
im suparrr bored...
ndda return myy library books...
...
"todae i talk to dis cute guy his name is Hidir..."
hahahahahahaha...
wanna noe more?
he's 19...
he stays at sembawabg...i tink...
he's studying in SP...
hahahahahahaha...
tts all i noe bout him...
ouh... he finali figured out d diffreence btwn a tank top n a spagetti strap top...
hahahahahahahahaa...
eh Hidir dah...i reli wrote on myy blogg!!! bleuk.. wadever luh eh...
...
blah blah blah....
myy giler sista lurbb's creation of "party like a rock star" she went..."party like a porn star"
hahahahahha....
tt one dunno reli fasting anot one...
but oso good... she cannot maki me...
ahahahahahha...i can take revenge...
she could onli sae dis... "K.I.M.A.K. kau!!"
hahahahaha...
im sooo naughty...

im addicted to dis song...stay close don't go...
ouh and selena gomez's-tell me somthing i don't know...
"If you leave me tonight,
I'll wake up alone,
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight,
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,
If you leave me tonight."

2008-09-24T16:23:00.004+08:00

Can you tell me

How can one miss what she's never had

How could I reminisce when there is no past

How could I have memories of being happy with you boy

Could someone tell me how can this be

How could my mind pull up incidents

Recall dates and times that never happened

How could we celebrate a love that's too late

And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared

I miss the love that was almost there

I miss the times that we use to kiss

At least in my dreams

Just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had

What happened to us we were almost there

Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had

Never almost had you

I cannot believe I let you go

Or what I should say is

I shoulda grabbed you up and never let you go

I shoulda went out with you

I shoulda made you my boo boy

Yeah that's one time I shoulda broke the rules

I shoulda went on a date

Shoulda found a way to escape

Shoulda turned a almost into

If it happend now its to late

How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real

And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel

And you seem to be the perfect one for me

You're all that I ever wanted

And you're my everything yes its true

Boy its hard to be close to you

My love I know it may sound crazy

but im in love with you

2008-09-22T23:12:00.002+08:00

IN SKULL
dis is wad ppl do when dey're bored...
dey camwhore...
ma'af kan Ath.. dun hve enuf memory space to let u take more...
wil delete soon for u to cam whore agn...

ni swit kan?
dere's onli one wif yani cus she was talking to abg and more or less ignoring ath...
spastic siol dis one...
"Ath!!! im not readi yt!!!"

2008-09-22T21:30:00.002+08:00

its like a one way ticket ot ITE...
i really screwed myself up dis time.

dis is d worst of times man! damn it...
how can so mani things happen at a time?
dun wanna talk abt it though..
dis is driving me nuts!!!!
im gg crazy...
but i've gotta prove everione wrong!!!
if not myy life will b so over...

WHATS HAPPEING TO THE WORLD?

i cant believe wad d tabloid wrote about myy darling BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!

[this was one we totally didn't see coming.
according to reports, BRITNEY SPEARS' mother,LYNNE,is gg to publish a tell-all book,dishing her daughter's darkest secrets to the world.
a tabloid claims that BRITNEY lost her virginity to an 18 yr old bf when she was just 14-contradiciting the pop star later claims that she was a virgin.
equally jaw dropping are claims that BRITNEY started drinking at 13 and started taking drugs when she was 15!
lynne's book reveals how BRITNEY first began taking drugs when she travelled to LA to record 'baby one more time', as well as the time cocanine and marijuana was found in her luggage.
lynne is said to have encouraged her daughter's relationahip with the 18 yr old high school scholar she had lost her virginity to thinking this will make her daughter more popular, although she claims that she's regretted encouraging her daughter's sexpot image during BRITNEY'S early years in career.]

can u believe this was a quote by a mother?
a mother actually sabotaging and exposing her daughter's darkest secrets to the world?!?!
idk wad lynne is doing to britney but dis is seriously tarnish-ing brit's image luh...

is LINDSAY A LESBIAN?
wells reports showed that LINDSAY and partner SAMANTHA is planning on hving a BABY!!!

wads going on???

omg... dis guy on imesh is supaaaa cute sial....
now i noe how yani gets cute exs...

2008-09-20T00:27:00.005+08:00

"once bitten twice shy"

m gonna smile like nth's wrong;
talk like everything's perfect;
act like it was all jus a dream
and pretending that he's not hurting me.

2008-09-20T00:27:00.004+08:00

.misteri hidup akan menghilang dan bahagia di akhir cerita.

.i've been sleeping at 0200 recently.
tdy wake up at 1230 and bk to sleep at 1430.
i gues i br0ke n0rmal ppl's sleeping h0urs.
ii guess i 0nlii w0ke up to eat and dance.
at hm i slp at grandma's ii oso slp.
w0ke up at 1700 n d0wn to tm f0r clas.
n n0w. im wide awake.
its like i suffered fr0m jet lack.
i've recently became a night animal.

wells.ballet n0w izsh advance as 98% of d gals had alrdy taken inter.
its hard c0re!!!!
but dancing can solve al0t of problems th0ugh.
i feel like an0ther pers0n in an0ther w0rld when im dancing.
d wh0le thing izsh bcuz i d0nt get to think abt ani0ne but d steps.
myy backs gonna hurrt tml.
did alot of tendus and allegro tdy.
im cant turn tdy!!!
damnit.not on tdy.hahas.
DANCING MAKES ME HIGH!!!
im in a gd mo0d tdy.
idk whyy but im n0t tt mean tdy...
hahas...

mani ppl had been walking in n out of myy life recently.
im so tired of jus standing dere letting ppl walk in and out jus lyk tt.
ima gonna put a barrier now.
its so hard to trust now.
eh...im in a gd mood tdy so im not gg to sae all dis shit tdy.

i miss dancing so much and thank god i dunndda do set work alrdy.
i cant wait to start hiphop with jacky!!!
but tt will b in 2 mths tym.

im so tempted to pierce my nose and tongue.and getting a tattoo.
god i so know it wun happen.
but somehow i'll make it happpen.
im addicted to "myy wife is a gangster 3".
damn cute sial.funny funny funny.
im addicted to d song "cinta".
sumhow i had been singing dis song n getting ppl to sing along.
ouh.the song by the tingtings "thats not my name" is supar irritating!!!!!

2008-09-20T00:27:00.002+08:00

yy mus i b d onli child?
its so not fair especially when ur parents quarrel over smthng u dun even noe frm d start...
or shuld i sae pulling me into a picture wen i dun noe xcatly wads gg on...
FUCKING life's driving me insane...
both parties are nt happy.both are jus as hot tempered.both wun gve in.
WHAT DO dey WAN ME TO DO???????
im stuck inbtwn d both of them.
dun b envious tt im d onli child.cus its not like im happy with it.
dere's no one to stand by me when thing liddat happen.
dere's no one to stand up for u when smthng not good happens.
I HATE MYY LIFE....
trying to understand what it all means.
im jus trying to live.
for god's sake pls dun pull me into ur fights and tell me st0ries.
im blood related to d b0th of u...damnit.h0pe u realise tt.
gado f0r all tt means.
cus the fact is im s0 FUCKING sick of hving to listen to u 2.
im so FUCKING sick of standing in d middle l0st an stuck.
i rather u 2 n0t care abt me.
i alrdy had a FUCKING dae at sku.st0p all dis n0nsence can?DAMNIT!
DAMNIT. everything's gone haywire.
SCREW THE WORLD LUH!!!
SCREW EVERYTHING.
I jus wanna disappear.out of this world.
p/s being d onli child suck big tym!!!

2008-09-18T20:36:00.006+08:00

marina to geylang...wednesdae nite....

oh my tohan!!!
i love kitty kats!!!
so swit kan?
its like pink summoore!?!?!?!?!!!!

myy bestiieee.I LOVE ARYANI!!!

gee. i hate myy hair.

damnit.its so messy and myy bang are so long alrdy.

dis was tt tym...

she was quick to smile....

if nt i'll b able to catch her red handed!!!!

gawd.i look evil!!!!

n she's so swit...awwwwww...

flowers growing on my mounting board.BLUETACK.

nd to stick smthng? go find art students dey're full of blue tacks now.

kitty kitty kitty...
swit kan?

hahas.dis was candid.

i had hell of a tym wif yani ytd.
we like ate alot.drank alot.
hahas.been eating frm marina to geylang n back hm.
ahahhahaha.ouh.
din actuali noe tt mani ppl saw us but seems like d bitch and tt bimbo has no eyes to catch "normal"ppl.its alwaes liddat if ur guy surfing.
got a few cute ones luhs.tapi all mcm mut uh sial.
ath saes its our type.
we go for muts.
ath...cute guys are usuali muts.
hahahas...
ouh.tt wadeh dey sell at geylang is superb man!!!!

lastlastlast: I LOVE ARYANI!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?![inside story]

2008-09-18T20:36:00.003+08:00

i feel superrrr useless.
im so fucked up wif my life.
my brain's dead.
i cant concentrate.
bad results.very bad.
at dis rate, idk if i'll pass 'o's.
i dun believe in anithing animore.
it seems im living a lie which turns out to b reality.
why m i even in dis world?
its not what i wanted.its not like i love it.
but its has onli been 16 yrs.
idk how long more i've get to live.
maybe by burining more sticks,i'll get my wish faster.
dere is no use talking animore.
i've gotta learn how to stand.
dis is not what i need.dis is not wad i want.
tell me tt dis is all jus a lie.
one word replys?
"he's jus replying you not bcause of anithing,jus trying to keep u away,smthng like avoiding u"
how can thing b so great one minute to turn into crap d next?
everything's not d same animore.its jus not.
trying to forget.trying to let go.trying to move on.
move on to another world tt maebe i could reali call myy own.
FUCK SKU.FUCKK O LEVELS.FUCK LOVE.

I LOVE YOU IS 8 LETTERS;SO IS BULLSHIT!!!!

2008-09-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

i wished i was sick...
will being sick make u care for me agn?
msging me everynite jus to ask how i was feeling...
or even calling me in d afternoon cus u said u was bored and tt it was jus a random call...
or even calling me at nite refusing to slp though u were sick?.
i miss u asking me to eat.... and like u alwaes sae:'ur health is myy concern tau,baby'
i miss u telling me tt ur tired when i mit u earli in d morn...
if i fell sick agn... will dejavu happen?
will u care for me like u used to?
will u be dere for me?
parts of me's trying to let u go,
parts of me miss u so...
d whole of me....
m dying soon...
deres nth more i can do but onli sit here and cry..missing u...
yy are we like strangers now?
i dun c tt smile on ur face animore...
i gues maebe i was wrong to listen to ppl...
tt maebe u tot i didnt trust u...
and now im suffering jus thinking abt u...
i tried but i cant let go...
i jus wished i had more time with you..... .... ... .. .

2008-09-16T22:31:00.002+08:00

back from indoor stadium...
went to watch d TONY ORLANDO YELLOW RIBBON TOUR
mom's boss got tickets for us...
srsly...idk who he is...
onli heard dad saying tt dere are nice songs tt he sings...
well...was at kallang mrt for like 45minutes waiting for a bus tt'll bring us to kallang leisure park...cus dere was d bus wen we got dere but it jus drove off...[wtfuck]
so we waited...
and we waited...
and waited...
finali mom said to take a cab in to indoor stadium...
i flat for a cab....
it drove towards us but it stopped further down...
den..a bloody idiot ran towards d cab and rode off...
i was like.."oi!!! bloody fool...i flat for d cab and u took it???u were like standing dere duin nth wen we were standing dere d whole tym...a**hole!!!"
got a cab in another 5 minutes...
cabbed 2 traffic lights to indoor stadium...
cab fare was llike $6.50!?!?!?!?![wtfuuuuuuckkkkk???]
went to d snack kiosk wich sold like burgers and hotdog buns frm 711...
almost bought it wen d guy said:"dese are 1 for $6"
b4 we culd say anithing, one anunty standing bside me went
"are ni kui;mai jia liao la!(so expensive;dun wan eat alrdy luh)"she walked away
so did we...
bought fan choy frm d 711 kiosk wich was 10 steps away frm tt snack kiosk instead...
i still can buy water...n its onli $6...
sit down to eat though...since we were earli...
dis uncle was on d fone wif somebody and was like talking reali loud...
he was saying smthng like dis:"yar yar yar..im atd stadium alrdy..at d premium enterance lar...u come down now...at whre?u see got dis handsome guy;tts me luh...uh..uh..bye"
i was like laughing non stop luh...
went in at 8 as it states...
ffound our seats...
i was like huh...all old ppl wor...
of course...tondy orlando started in 1961!!!!
im like wth...
i dunno ani of his songs...
until like half wae thru...dere was dis song {stand by me}
den dere was like {purple rain}
oh..he was d one who sang tt song...idk wad d tittle but it goes liddat..."i wonder...i wawawawa wonder..."d irritating song tts alwaes playing on gold 90.5
well..i din stay till d end though...
dad fetched us den we left for home...
i must sae though...
indoor stadium is fucking pathetic!!!!
and its like no standard...
if we would to call tt our national indoor stadium...
it doesnt start showas on time... d staff is supperrr loud...
idk...alot to comment...i shall not...
wanna watch a sistic show,pick one tts in esplanade;theatres on d bay...
its wae more proffessional and dere is standard in deir service..jus dun enter late...
d chair is more comfortable too...

i wonder yy ppl stare at u like as if ur some kinda freak...some alien...
i get tt all d time and i dun understand yy...
idk y..jus bcause im in a dress doesnt gif u d "right" to kip looking...
jus bcus my heels are like 4" ,its nt a biggy either...
jus bcus myy eyes are a covered in mabeline,it oso isnt ani funni...
dey would jus stare no matter wad ur wearing...
i hve dis urge to ask dem if smthng's wrong wif me...
when dey gif u tt stare u'll start to wonder if ur face has smthng,
is ur hair like in a mess or a strand is sticking out,
or worst if ur dress was torn...
i sorta said "wthell is deir fucking problem" infrnt of dad n mom...hahaha
i shall go up to d person d nxt tym anione gives me tt stare...
i reli wanna noe...
does ani rule saes tt tall gals are NOT ALLOWED to wear heels?
does ani rule saes tt gals are NOT ALLOWED to cover deir eyes in mabeline?
[if tts d case mabeline can close shop alrdy]
does ani rule saes tt tall gals are NOT ALLOWED to wear low cut dresses,mini skirts or even tubedresses?iznt it d whole point to wear minis cus our legs are long?
so yy do u stare? and stare?

Why do I miss you?
everything seemed too good to be true
I thought you would always be mine
it seemed everything was just fine
What is it that I miss?
I miss every hug and every kiss
Why do I miss you?
I can't forget how it felt to be with you
All the nights up late on the phone is now time I spend alone
Wishing you were here with me gives me nothing but misery
So, why do i miss you?
simply because I can't forget YOU!

2008-09-16T16:59:00.002+08:00

1 mth sice u've been gone..yy do i miss you so much?
like it was meant to be.

art art art!!!!
todae was more or less hell...
jus myy luck...
gotta finish myy art...
gg to a concert soon...
im late!!!!!

2008-09-14T21:02:00.003+08:00

in d midst of getting myself drunk...

2008-09-14T20:10:00.004+08:00

...once bitten twice shy...

2008-09-13T22:10:00.007+08:00

You decided you were over me, but I'm so not over you.

its like finally saturdae...

i woke up blo0dy late todae...

went down for 'brunch'...

din go to granny's hus tdy...

was alrdy 1430 wen i got home...

and was to mit liz dey all at 1500..

late as usual...
pontang ballet today...XD
CARed down to singap0re flyer...

valet parking though now...

its like $5 onli... wae cheaper den d auto one...

was at flyer by 1530 liddat...

dinner was suppose to b at 1800...

alot of tym so WALKED to marina sq..

aand for god's sake liz and i was in heels...

mine was like 4 inches luh...

but i could stil run luh...

xcept for liz...

she kept complaining though...

and she grabbed myy hand for support like fcuk...

imagine tt strength she hve luh...

she was like "myy feets are numb alrdy!!!" oh and she'll add dis:"FUCK!!!!"

over at marina

d first plce we headed for was STARBUCKS!!!!

dere is not alot of plce to sit so sit oudside..smoking area...

ps:i din smoke todae...dis grup of frens dunno and cnnt noe..

aniwae:CARAMEL FRAPPECINO + RESBERRY SYRUP= HEAVEN!!!!

helped liz with chemistry as her prelims on chem was on mondae...

cheryl had nth to do though...

she jus kept quiet and drink...

walked ard marina aft liz finish her tys...

ouh...d small bugis look alike street on d 2nd level is under renovation...

we did a survey on dunno wad...

asking if we hve savings and stuff...

n got lil packets of biscuits though...

ouh...dey said dey were frm prudential...

hahas...

aft walking ard, walked bk to flyer ard 1815...

ate at seafood paradise...

liz and i was like craving for tt absolut mango tt was right in front of us at d bar...

tt brought me bk to d bartop dancer 'dream' i had...

hahas...i told liz bout it n she was like omgfuck tts so cool!!!

"steph ur crazy..."

yea..im strting to agree wif farhan and haikal tt im crazy...

aft dinner wad like camwhoring d whole time...

dere is like alot of cameras taking our fotos..
so dere is alot of repeats featured...

ouh...guess d mommies wanna check oud who's cam has d better pic quality...

ouh...i completed myy art... xcept for d mounting boards...

still working on it...

btw d pic below is myy completed one...d sides are more of a rush thru...

cus myy concentration was more on myy rose... which tooke up abt 75 % of d board...

earlier todae;singapore flyer

i love dis pic...its like part of d feris wheel and d moon and its in a acute angle...

liz die die oso wanna take pictures wif me

agn cus she sae her arm is fat

dis remind me of Q..i was like: "if i had a gun now i'll kill u"...

dis is sSsuperrrrr random

cheryl's like so xtra here.. liz is totali ignoring her to kiss me... hahas

dis was bcus of d moon and a part of d wheel...it'll look nicer if it was bright...

mom took dis.. i reli do look like a bar top dancer..woots!!!

im like freaking tall alrdy standing bside her tt i had to open my legs to look shorter but den she wants a full lenght pic and was like "take one can c my legs one luh..."

my jacket damn xtra wor...

still d tallest..alwaes d tallest...

stiill d tallest...i was bending alrdy...

mom took dis while liz was helping figure out d cam in her mom's fone...

cheryl was in flats...

dis picture is blurrrrrrrrrrrr....so sotong one....

cheryl din chnage her pose for continusly 5 pictures!!!

not ready to smile yt ...

srsly;i hve no idea which camera we were looking at...

camwhoring ends hhere...

tdy was oke...i din tink so much...so im blogging now;and dis is where i start to think...

talking to myy twin will help alot...

she's gg thru d same thing also...

karma:

love is blind...and im starting to believe dis...

blind to d flaws of d person u love...

hard to forget...

it takes a lifetime to find true love;

but onli a moment to fall in love...

My days have been rainy though the sun's smiling rays

In a haze of confusion my heart can't find a way

To get rid of my heartache as I'm slowly dying

Weeping for a lost love I never had but still wanting.
Its been hard to let go and I'm crying every night

I've been trying to hide it but I just don't feel right

I've said my silent goodbye but I'm still falling apart

Everyday I keep feening and its breaking my heart.
Tell me how to end it so I can understand and see

Let me know what I did to make you stop loving me

I can fake a smile if that's what you want me to do

I can even pretend I'm okay just to be close again to you.
Sometimes I feel like you're all mine, just for a day

I'll always remember the time when you were with me

When I was the one in your arms and not her.
I miss you so much that I crumple in pain

So I just close my eyes and feel you're mine again

It'll ease my suffering even only for a minute

Then I'll live my life another day without you in it.
I don't know why not being with you is hurting me so much

I dream about you at night and I'm aching to feel your touch

Its harder to say goodbye now that I have to say it to you too

But until that day comes I'll just be heartbroken over you.

2008-09-11T00:44:00.002+08:00

...it cut me like a knife when you walked out of my life...

It's not supposed to feel this way I need you,
I need you More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way I need you,
I need you, I need you
i could feel I could feel you near me,
even when you're far away I could feel I could feel you baby, why?

2008-09-08T15:19:00.003+08:00

gone with the wind.dead witout a sound.

maths reli drove me mad...
and its not even o levels yet!!!!
FCUK!!!
vectors came out onli 1 question...
wthELL...
susa giler sey...
well...
honestly,i wasnt actuali paying ani attention to my paper tdy...
cus:
1.idk how to do
2.i almost fell asleep.the hall was freaking quiet!!!!
3.i slept late very late last night
4.i kept tinking........ .... .... ... of him yet again.i jus can't seem to get him outta my mind...

god...
its like history tml and bio...
modern world...
damnit..
i srsly ndda memorise everithing...

im starting to melt agn...
super bored...
lost.
hurt.
alone.
I feel completely incomplete.
This feelings are disturbing.
It's hard, real hard to get them off me.
I have not given up, and yet I have no faith.
I can easily smile, but I hold more pain than anyone knows.
People will never understand how I feel.

found dis...its cute though....
44 things girls wish guys knew
1. Don’t tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don’t expect us to dress like Victoria Secret Models.
4. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
5. We think about you all the time
6 This is how we see it : Don't call = Don't care.
7. Which also means that if we don’t call, take a hint.
8. We like you to be a little jealous. But overly possessive is not necessary.
9. Being able to make us laugh is so much more important than knowing how much you can bench-press.
10. We're allowed to be late. You're not.
11. Eye contact is the key.
12. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
13. Laugh at our jokes.
14. 3 words: honesty, honesty, honesty!
15. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
16. Do not start with us. You will not win.
17. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? Didn't think so.
18 If you ask nicely, we’ll answer the same way.
19. We will never have enough clothes or shoes.
20. We have an excuse for being bitchy at least once a month.
21 Open the door for us no matter where we are.
22. We love surprises.
23. We like to be kissed softly. Not with an iron tongue.
24. Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
25. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes. Never tighty-whities!
26. Always brush your teeth before you see us. A fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
27. Clean your room before we come over.
28. Even though you're sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
29. Don't act hard around your friends
30. Sometimes "NO" really means "NO!".
31. "Wife beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
32. If we wanted to be on video tape, we’d be a porn star. NOT your girlfriend.
33. Sensitive guys are great.. but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
34. Don’t let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
35. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
36. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
37. "Fat chicks" have feelings, too.
38. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling, & nasty looks add up to = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.
39. The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable. We’ll appreciate the simple fact that you’re trying.
40. Just because a girl doesn’t pick up on the first ring, doesn’t mean she’s not waiting by the phone.
41. You don’t have to spend a lot; if it means a lot.
42. Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it.
43. Don’t lie to us. We will catch you.
44. When the girls meet together, we talk about everything. Meaning, my best friends know EVERYTHING about you!!!!

erm...guess some are not so true...

lost without you.missing you.dying soon.was mine..never will you b mine animore?

2008-09-07T20:42:00.003+08:00

im torn and ur gone...
it killed me in d inside.
its over.ruined.dead.

All these streets, that I walked alone,
With nowhere to go, have come to an end.

idk who to believe animore...its like a split second tt u disappeared...
out... u jus walked out of my world...
and i cant even gain ur trust....
im such a failure...
yt agn...

i've fallen so deep...
trust tt ur a great guy no doubt...
but greatness jus dun come to me...
but i gues i did acommplish one thing...
i made u hate me...
so tt u culd still b happy..

aniwaes it was reli great to hear ur voice agn...
but in a different tone tt is...
still on my mind...
forever on my mind...
i noe u wun forgive me no more...
seems like trust is hard...
everithing u said to me now is "no".
i dun noe how to try animore...
i dunno how to fall outta love wif u animore...

Stay a live
In the shadow
Livin' here is where I belong
But I'm lost,
because it was me
The one who fucked up everything!
What I did wrong
Meant nothing to you
I didn't want to hurt anyone
But somehow I hurted you
I'm feelin' sad!
And brought down
I'm So Fuckin' Sorry!!

I'm all messed up
Making perfect nonsense
Drowning in my doubt too well
Going nowhere fast but circles in my mind
So blind .Who are these voices in my head
I can't go on like this
Living like the dead
I haven't slept so long
Feeling sad I dread
I'm talking to myself
you noe what;FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID

to u: its true...it nvr was a lie...even if it was it was beautiful...
i wanted you to b dere wen i fall.
i wanted you to see me thru it all.
i wanted you to be d one i love.
i wanted you to hold me in my sleep.
i wanted you u show me wad i need.
i wanted you to noe jus how down deep;
i wanted you
idk if i'll b waiting..cus its almost no use...
urr totali ignoring me...and i gues dis was wad i asked for...
i gues ur taking dis is over...idk wad to do..
idk how ima gonna face you..
idk hhow ima gonna talk to you...
i dun wanna head for d finish line wif u but i gues d race had alrdy ended 3 wks ago...
without you...
idk if i even lose u as a frend.if tts tts den i cant do nth no more..
when you find that one person in the world who you feel more complete around and with,
then one day their gone and you no longer have anyone... its hard to move on....
i jus wished i had more time with you baby.
if i culd go back,i would wanna go back to u...
IF ONLI I COULD TURN BACK TIME..

imissu.ily.but d onli thing i culd sae now is..goodbye...

2008-09-07T18:00:00.002+08:00

i noe ur upset baby...
its not wad i was trying to do...
im not trying to hurt u...
but srsly...
i've fallen for you....
i cant forget you....
i noe its onli been 5 daes...
but.....
is dis d onli wae i culd make u talk to me agn?
by writing here and tt u saw...
for 3 wks i wait... u nvr did talk to me....
but now tt u hve cus i had hurt u...
ur not a jerk allrites?
u were jus so real...
i was jus reli mad tt dae and...
now tt u said nth can be done to even make u forgive me...
i dun wan dis to happen to us...
its not wad i planneed..
u cared for me...
u saved me frm falling...
and its all bcause of u....
i reli tot wad dey said were true...
i noe ur not liddat...
but yyyyyyyyyyyy?
dey're my frends and tts y i trust dem...
and cus ur not talking to me...
i supose dere's a reason bhnid it isnt it?

im so screwed up...
i feel so dead...
i might as well jus die...
save me frm all d agony...
i love him and i cant forget him but now...
i cant even gain his trust animore...

can u let me xplain?
forgive me baby pls...

2008-09-05T00:46:00.002+08:00

forcing myself back;now i can't talk to you
maybe i reli shuld realise there's a chance that i was never meant to be wif you...
................myy addictions have no boundaries................

sortta completed myy art...
reli no mood tdy...
den aft art go eat wif chloe dey all den go 840 dey play basketball...
i damn sian so i sae i wan go home...
saw all of em at rc...
reli felt like digging a hole and jus hide in it...
recieved Q's text...
went to her hus...
went to starbucks mit yani and ath and estella..
went home...
bathe...
went to citihall mit mami...
ate japenese foood...
went shopping...
bought a pair of sunglasses and a cap...
went home...
bathe...
online...
blog...
now pending to slp or not to slp...

im so screwed up...
i dunno wad to do...
im so confused...
im so lazy..
im so fat..
im so everithing you can think of tts negative...
wonder wad i'll b duin tml...
i nedda study...
im everywhere...

if i culd turn back the time...
i would turn it back to whre we first started...
if dere was one thing i culd do den,
i would hold you tight and nevr let you go....

i gg crazy...
but i wanna sae dis:
ITS NICE TO NOE TT U WERE DERE
THANKS FOR ACTING LIKE YOU CARED
AND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I WAS D ONLI ONE
ITS NICE TO NOE WE HAD IT ALL
THANKS FOR WATCHING AS I FALL
AND LETTING ME NOE WE WERE DONE
CUS YOU WERE EVERYTHING EVERYTHING TT I WANTED
WE WERE MEANT TO BE SUPPOSE TO BE BUT WE LOST IT
ALL OF MY MEMORIES SO CLOSE TO ME JUS FADE AWAY
ALL THIS TYM U WERE PRETENDING SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING

fairytales are stories filled with lies cus it never did come true...
it maebe fate...
but it definately wasnt a dream...
cus i believe in karma...

2008-09-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

unconcious beauty;i still love you....

i felt bloody stupid jus wen i saw ur face agn...
i tot i culd take it but i reli cn't...
...i tot u were d one who told me not to sae aniting abt us?
somehow... members all noe abt us ehk?
srsly... all i could do is to smile a smile tt wasnt real and wasnt dere...
...wad is it tt u want frm me?
its like i got like an attack frm u twice in one dae...
...1: wen i walked pass u and ur friends... dey kept saying "baby..i miss you"... so somehow everione noes abt dis and i felt FUCKING stupid rite den alrites... u werent standing up for me either... so i suppose dey read msges too huh?din u notice i din even bothered to look back at u?cus u were part of dem making jokes abt dis...
...2: i also heard recently tt ur still attatched to ur long tym galfriend...
now i dun blame myy friend... i noe y she's duin dis to u... cus dis is wad ur duin to both or shuld i sae 3 of us?wad do u actuali want frm d both of us wen ur wif her?why did u even care in d first place and to even promise to commit to a relationship when all of em were jus beautiful lies u made up? its suuuuuupeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr not fair to d 3 of us....
why?why?WHY? why me?how mani more do u intend to hurt?
UR NOTHING BUT ANOTHER LIAR...

allrites... ima needa gain my confindance back...{well.i hva admit i dun hve ani in d first plce...}
im not gonna fall deeper for u no more...
i jus need to learn not to trust ppl easily...
and tt im reli soft hearted...
i melt easily....
god!!!!! imagine how much i gave...
how much tears i shed...
im srsly regretting now...
GOD DAMNIT!!!

i don't know why I always fall in love With the wrong kind
Why I suffer so much pain But I only had myself to blame
My addictions have no bounderies
Now im crying out for more
So what is it about me
That you can't give into?
Forcing myself back
Now i can't talk to you
Maybe i should realize there a chance that
I was never meant to be with you
So justLeave me standing
Never make that promise
You're aware your feelings aren't for me
Forcing me to believe in something real
I cannot hurt you
Runaway
I won't complain it's all my fault
Leading this observed by you
You see me beg and plead
It's what I always do
I guess I got off track
Im so confused

i don't know why
why can't this feeling just fade away
after all this that im gg thru, it somehow still hurt inside....
i guess i reli fell for you..and tt's sumthing im not gg to lie abt...
i've fallen for you....
but rite now...i jus hope you'll make me hate u tt i'll eventually forget abt you...
i noe tt's a lie i'll try to forget..but srsly...
I NEED TO GET YOU OUTTA MY MIND!!!!!!!!

well...somehow i culdnt bring myyself to cry no more....
dere are other guys out dere...
gonna run myy own life now...

beautiful disaster

2008-09-02T01:01:00.004+08:00

people live to die....
so might as well die...
d onli thing is how to die????

"Don't want to close my eyes,
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you,
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing "

Now we've been talking for a while
And you got me trying to figure out
Boy I don't know what to say to you
But you got me feeling some kind of way for you
And all I know is when were together
No one can make me feel the way you do baby
I wish each moment could last foreverIt's hard to explain the way
I feel for youI just can't find the words
You got me losing myself in what I'm trying to say
And it's so hard to fight it can't help but feeling this way
And every time that I'm near you it's like my heart gets weak
Feels like I'm losing my breath making it hard to speak
I just can't find the words
Now I know I come of kinda shy
But it's hard to say what's on my mind
The chemistry we have it hard to find
But to find the right words it's going to take sometime
And all I know is when were together
No one can make me feel the way you do
babyI wish each moment could last forever
It's hard to explain the way I feel for you
You got me tripping over words you got me stuttering
And like a bad dream I'm calling out but you don't hear me speak
And constantly I find myself in this predicament

everyone's telling me tu forget u...
but howwww???
i cant smile no more....
but im not gg to cry cus its over...
i'll jus smile cus it happened...
maebe im not as lucki to hve you jus yt...
but if its true... i'd wanna be with you...
cus i want it all..or nth at all..
dere's no one left to hold wen u reach d bottom its now or never...
IS DIS ALL?
or are we jus frens?
IS DIS HOW IT END?
with a simple text u leave me here with NOTHING AT ALL..
not even a picture of u...
but memories of u still lingers on...
how far is it gg to take me to?
i see u everywhere...

chatting with myy cousin now...
tt gal... soo bloody long nvr c her ler...
alwaes cabot sku...
gila..tml "n" levels now still online...
reli gila...
hahas..but i love her like siao...
she understands me...
we hve d common problems...
ahahahahahahaaha...

my blog has gone haywire!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK SIOL!!!knn...cb uh...
mus fix wen i hve d tym ler uh... damn tired now...
hve to be in sku in a few hrs tym...
knn...

ihate ppl with no backbones...
wtf is ur fashion sense?
y do u dress like me now?
like OMGFUCK U!!!
myy hairstyle?
d wae myy hair is like slanted???
oh so now im ur model for fashion?
dun talk like me either bloody bitch...
GET UR OWN STYLE.GET A BACKBONE.DAMNIT!!!!

2008-09-01T23:30:00.001+08:00

my blog's in a mess now... sorre bout tt...

2008-09-01T22:02:00.003+08:00

I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for one whole minute

i hate myself....
its so wierd.....
i dun like hu i am....
i hate my looks....
i hate my idk... everything????

god damnit.....
im hving a flu agn...
its like d start of sept break....
i miss everione alreadi....
gawd!!!!!
gotta wake up earli tml....
i still hve to go back to sku...
bloody hell...
its like d first dae of holidae....
did nth actuali...
woke up as usual...
send mami to work....
went to singapore flyer as dadie went to write manifares for d malacca tour....
super boring... cus my psp died on me...knn...
went to east coast mac to hve breakfast...
i caught a "me to you" d klams bear for like $2...
i was jus feeling playful though...
went over to all tt machines...
tt was d 2nd try uh....
i was lucki.... fucking lucki....
went back to safra area as dad service d car...
dad was like smoking wen d uncle asked him for sum info. he's cigrette was like half wae...
guess wad... he asked me to hold it...
ahahahahahahahaha...
told mum jus now...
she jus laughed as if it was nth...
0ops... gues dey know my lil secret...
hu cares aniwae....
went bk home and sleep...
woke up and it was like 5 + alrdy..
went to pick mom up frm work...
went to eastcoast agn for dinner....
back home agn...
super boring rite?
cus i culdnt do aniting luh...
i cant even smoke....

fridae was oke... teacher's dae concert was one of d suckiest concert ever!!!![xcept for inal's item]
as usual though.aces dae.games.big breakfast.concert.
he smiled at me... hmmms...*melts*
i relised tt look u gave me...
u alwaes looked at me...

weekend... nth to sae... same o lame o...

magnum almond is fucking nice!!!!!!!!!!!!
ice cream had been helping me though...

oke srsly... ima failure.. a utter disgrace...
i hate myself!!!!

GD LUCK FOR 'N' LEVELS TML!!!![too dose who's taking 'N's...

gotta be strong gotta be strong
but i'm, really hurting now that you're gone.
i thought maybe i'd do some shopping,
but i didn't get past the door and,
now i dont know now i dont know if i'm,
ever really gonna let you go and i,
couldnt even leave my appartment.
im stripped down torn up about it.

m.i i miss you....i love you...

2008-08-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

i miss him so much..im gg crazy!!!!!!!!

pictures wif yani...on saturdae when tt fucking teacher said i was gg for a party....knn ccb!!!

reflections...so not prepared to smile...
oke...i look wierd...
dis isnt ani better either...
wat d hell was tani looking at?

c my smiles are like damn fake...GOD DAMN IT!!!!

it wasnt suppose to be liddat!!!!

its not d same animore...its jus not...

2008-08-24T18:00:00.003+08:00

why do you still have to leave when i wanted you to stay?
it wasn't an accident nor was it a mistake...
it wasn't even a replacement i'd made...
cus when u look into my eyes all tt i see somehow jus died...
i never felt a love so real so true...
and it was all bcos of you...
i don't wanna try..
cus i dun wanna let you go...
but i dun wanna fight no more...
cus i noe tt i'd alrdy lost...
you know... i jus wan u close bside me...
i jus wan to turn d clock back...
i can't bring myself to accept d fact tt ur high tt night...
cus if ur.. why do u still bother to contact me like 7 d next morning jus to say
"good morning,baby!"

i love raining days!!!!!!
it matches my mood sooooooooo!!!!

well..dere is exactly nth i culd do no more...
but all tt i was trying to do was to love you... ... ...
i miss you M.I...

2008-08-24T15:33:00.002+08:00

i'm not gonna fight animore...cus i noe... i've alreadi lost....

sunday bloody sunday
woke up so late tdy...
ate lunch at home...
went to granny's hse...
back hm....
almost got caught in d rain...

ytd was a hell load of fun onli from 10...
bloody LMC... FUCKING IDIOT...
u nvr sae wear uniform rite?
bloody hell...imagine a group of confused students in home clothes all d wae from tampines to buona vista cus d teacher nvr sae aniting abt wearing uniform...
literature seminar oso dun nd to wear uniform...
onli care for face of not d school or principal...but for urself...
u takot u tink we dunno... wan save face for urself...
u were nagging at us in d middle of no whre... and den it was ur fault to not tell us to bring notes and to wear uniform den u start nagging at us tt cus wad we were in flipflops and jeans?
fucking idiot... stil sae i look like im gg for a party... and u can sae all d wae wif everi single ppl walking pass us looking at us like a group of fools being nagged by a crazy bitch in d middle of d wae..d other skus students wear uniform cus deir teacher sae rite?.? wad kind of xcuse is "i said we were gg to dunman high for d seminar so its obvious tt u shuld wear uniform..."
wat the fuck?literature seminar is to assemble in sku den take bus down...alrdy so budget tt we hve to train down from d end of singapore to d other end and rch dere by 815... and den u...
bloody hell... end up u make us wake up so earli in d end to save face for urself u din bring us in... WE COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING LUH!!! its alrdy good tt we went for it oke...so mani ppl back out frm it and den we end up getting scolded by u...

went to bugis wif aryani...cus all of em gt plans to go bk home to slp...
since yani had to go to her granni's hse at marsiling,we were tgher...
damn fun sial being wif her... SISTER LURBB!!!
ohohoh...i bought dis pair of shorts at $5!!!!!! damn gd sial d quality...
aft tt went to orchard to find my twin...
she got tickets for wall-e...
tt shows so bloody cute uh...
"wall-e"..."eva"
cute sial....i almost fell asleep in d cinema...
i was so tired...
but went shopping wif her at fareast...

tml got sku.. wa sey.. damn sian uh...
life's different without him wif me...
everione's so worried i'll do sumthng silly...
dun worry.. i'll b fine...
a few tears wun kill me...

i jus wanna noe...
how did i fall so deep?
F.Y.I:dis is not me...
i dunno me animore...
i've never felt dis misery before...

the weather totali matches my mood.....
bloody;wet;dark;dull;down.....
its been raining since dunno when...
wish it stormed...

sunday bloody sunday... ....
i can't close my eyes and make it go away...

i duno wat she's duin to him...
who does she want?
im so afraid he'll get hurt by her...
i dunno y i care so much...
but yea...

y did i even fall so deep?
but as long as he's happy...i'll be...
sister lurbbs.... dun b angry wif him....
i noe wad tia said was true tt im emotionally attatched to him...
but u all... I DUN BLAME HIM AT ALL...i reli don't...
it allrites oke...i'll b fine...

baby doll;Q...dun worri bout me allrites...
stop hurting urself pls....
bloody fucker;yani... dun sae tt im a facker...u fucker...
ahahahahahahaha...bleah=P
thank u ani was syg!!!!
Ath...thanks for listening to me...though i dunno whre u heard tt news from....but i'll tahan for o's first...i wun do silly stuffs oke?
Tia... dun b angry myy dear...i'll b fine... and its oke..i reli dun blame him....

you all...i love you!!!!!thanks for being there!!!

2008-08-22T23:09:00.003+08:00

why does wonderful things alwaes not last?

y did u even enter my life when its over in 5 daes?
maebe u didnt noe... but i tried to hide u as ppl thinks tt im in love wif another...
i stick to tt...cus i din wanna hurt her...
cus she is my friend and tt she likes you...
but the fact tt i've fallen in love wif you changed alot...
it was exactly one week ago... ... ...
but im lucki u see...
i was wif u...
an item... however....

baby:
you're not a replacement...
u were real...
u were my everything...
i culdn't even think...
but i srsly never thought i'd hurt this wae....
i din believe tt u were high tt nite tt u asked me...
cus u still did contact me for d rest of d 4 daes...
i was lucki i had u...
but i fell to d ground wen i recieved tt text...
jus hours ago i was chatting wif u on the fone...
wad ever happened?????
gues i'd nvr noe cus i nvr got to c u agn and i nvr got to talk to u....
it was like tears jus fall down my eyes...
it was almost like immediately tt i cried...
i dunno y i got so attatched to u in jus 4 daes...
it was d last time a real smile actuali appeared on my face...

baby i dunno y u left me...
but i noe u love me...
u said it...
i gues u left me cus u din wanna hurt me wif d problems ur facing...
but baby im not thru wif u...
no matter if ur speaking or msging me dere's alwaes a baby u'll call...
but its not helping now...
been crying every nite since u left...
srsly i dunno y dere is dis serious impact i face aft u left...
its killing me soo much...

im not gna lie... no more...
but i'll try and i'll force myself to believe tt u left my world...
i woke up into this dream...
so real so true...
and everyone's telling me...
"he's a nice guy...he's d sweetest guy i've known..."
noone even believe tt it was u who wrote all tt love notes to me...
despite d fact tt dey know u longer den me...
how culd u be so sweet to me???
but u nvr said u din love me...
dere was alwaes an "i love u baby" in ur texts...
tts y i still believe...
i still believe...
baby i reli do still believe...
like im d one u'll call and tell me tt d ppl's paintings were like so nice at moe..
i could chat wif u forever...
but jus d next dae...
tt was d last time u said "i love you honey!"
i wanna talk to u agn...
i wanna be urs to hold to love to breathe....

but wadever it is i'll respect tt u made tt decision...
though i wuld sae tt im not oke and tt im reli sad...
but as long as ur happy...
i'll b happy...
i hope ur happy baby...
but i miss you like crazy...
im gg outta my mind...

I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to talk me in at night
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever
Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
So forever I'm forever I'm in search of yesterday
Like a beattle song I close my eyes repeat the song.
Tryna bring us back to where we belong
I belong to you
There is nothing i won't do for you
I know my soul connected me to you
I feel so safe when i'm alone with you
I'm holding back nothin
Saving it all for you

how can u jus walk away from me?
when all i could do is to watch u leave...

cus dere's nth left here to remind me..
jus d memory of ur face.....

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why

Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God,
who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away From this cold and messed up world

I am in love with you
im not gna lie...
You set me free I can't do this thing
Cause my life's without you here with me

And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes

Everyday, I try to play, another game
But my heart can't take it.
Why do I miss you so much?
I wanna stop this hurt inside
Oh baby please, give us one more try
i see you out with all your friends
Laughin' it up as you pretend To have a good time,
I know cause I'm living the same lie
So one of us has got to say
We can't keep living the same way
Baby Come back to me
In my heart I still believe
We were meant to be:
Together so whatever it takes
Baby come back to me
I should have never set you free
My baby Come back
I wanna call, but then I stall,
Cause after all, I just couldn't take it
Cause if your play was to push me away
You know that day, my heart you'd break it
I know we made a mistake,
Can't you stop your foolish pride
And come back to me
why do you act like you don't care
Like all this love between us isn't there

but baby ur not mine animore or will u ever be?
MI ILY!!!!!!!!
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away
Please tell me you'll stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

baby i wanna hear u tell me tt ur tired agn...
like u alwaes sae.."bie.. im so tired"

baby take care of urself....
cus u promised me u wun get sick....

2008-08-14T20:56:00.003+08:00

oh wow wow wow wow...
its snowing in singapore!!!!
bloody hell...
its fucking hot!!!
bad mood for mani ppl ytd...
d flu is killing me...
my voice is like sooooooooper sexy uh...
talk to ppl damn diffcult sial...
ppl jus kip gg "huh?huh?huh?"
cannot even talk nicely...

sku is fucking boring tdy...

talk to haikal and agil ytd was fun uh...
though dey are guys but dey'll gossip wif me too..
Irwan's swit...
random calls? hahas...stil can talk so long...
but thanks for kiping me company...
alexander's swit too...
thanks for d water uh ali...

ppl stop asking me to eat...
its not helping...
i gues i'd b wasting money gg to seoul garden on thursdae oso...

i hate medicines!!!!
so disgusting...
so bitter...
yuck!!!!
panadol for flu tt one is so d dissolved panadol...
its so...so.... not nice...

not performing for teachers' dae animore..
its all too clashy...
sad sad...
was looking forward to sum of d dance uh...
now... all is liddat...
nvm... aft 'o's duin intensive dance ler...
yes uh..
i wanna learn salsa!!!
and hip hop and belly dancing...
woots!!!!

tml english prelims...
die anot i dunno uh...

OMGGGGGG IM FAT!!!!

blah blah blah blah...
my moodswinging agn...

upload a few pictures uh...
long time ago shuld upload d but...
nvm...i oso lazi uh...

vanessa give d biscuit...
nice sial...
sweet sweet one...
more cam whore...
swit or wad ppl like to b in my fone uh...

inal teaching ath to play d guitar...
shuld hve seen..damn funni...
inal sound so wrong uh by making dose noise...
before he went "down...down,up,down"

wells...
im TRYING to let go alreadi...
realised after alot of gossipings and talking to alot of different ppl..
wad a jerk...
YOU'RE A JERK!!!
FUCKING JERK!!!

2008-08-11T12:06:00.002+08:00

yes uh!!!
no sku tdy...
but down wif a flu...
not so yes uh...

went to expo metro fair on national dae!!!
its like d same old thing u do dere...
SHOPPING!!!!
bought a few stuff luhs...
i sae dis dmk flip flop its like so nice and so light uh...
but mumi sae its too expensive for a pair of slippers...
dere goes my mood uhs...

slept like 2 + on saturdae waoke up at 12 on sundae and slept at 2+ again ytd...
i went over to dempsey dese two daes...
it was fucking boring!!!
was dere dey sae got sum prayers uh for d hungry ghost mth...
and well while waiting for daddie oso...
i hve practicalli nth to do but to fold d praying papers...
like origami uhs...ppl fold gold ingots i fold lotus... ahahaha..
but i did most of d 'cooking' like cheelet liddat onli its at d carpark...
i gues i did manage to burn sum fats uhs...
imaagine standing frm like 2-10 bbqueing...
panas giler!!!!!!

nvm uh...
gg to bugis later wif Q..
go find tt pair of flip flops uh...
maebe can get cheaper...
BUT ITS DMK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh fuck luh...
nvm nvm nvm....

memories of u arnt fading away...
Baby Talk To Me
What Is Going On
Listen
If You Care
Something U Wanna Say?
Please Dont Dont Hold It Back

2008-08-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

baby, the situation's driving me crazy..
and i reli wanna be ur lady...

suckiest national dae ever...
performance....
bloody hell.. fucking boring...
imagine waiting in d backstage for like 1 bloody hour wif bloody teachers ard...
shouting and stuff to ask us to keep quiet...
its like a waste of time gg to sku tdy..
dere wasn't ani difference in performing or not...
fk d sku fk d bloody principal fk national dae...

this wk wasn't ani good either...
but thanks to my pretty gals in sku hu tried so hard to cheer me up...
thanks YANI;ATH;Q for all ur care n concerns and for cheering me up...
thanks JIELING;VANESSA;DANDAN;SELINA for being dere to gif me advise and listening to me...

i'm reli drifting far away from him...
i dun wanna feel this way...
all this confusion and damage hve reli hurt me inside...
we did talk...
i noe he wanna talk to me...
he tried... i could tell...
we both wanna talk but we jus dunno how to...
if i would reverse anithing right now,
i wanna turn d clock back to d 9th july...
just tt moment...
if dere was sumthing i could do right den,
i wouldn't hve let u go...
it was reli sumthing i shuldn't feel or do..
neither did i expect tt i'll fall...
fall deep into his eyes...
and i'd keep falling...falling falling falling falling
everione's telling me it's a mistake...
"darling he's not worth it"
guess i held high hopes...
but tt wasn't a dream afterall..
he became my sweeetest addiction...
my sweetest secret..
my everithing...
i reli tried so hard to let him go...
but it reli isn't eazzi...
cus i've fallen too deep...
what hurts d most was being so so so so so so close...

There you are holding her hand
I am lost Dying to understand
Didn’t I cherish you right

Don’t you know you were my life
Even though I try I can’t let go
Something in your eyes Captured my soul
And every night I see you in my dreams
You’re all I know I can’t let go

Just cast aside
You don’t even know I’m alive
You just walk on by
Don’t care to see me cry
And here I am Still holding on
I can’t accept My world is gone

Do you even realize the sorrow I have inside
Everyday of my life
Do you know the way it feels
When all you have just dies
I try and try to deny that I need you
But still you remain on my mind

No I just can’t get you out of my mind
I never can say goodbye
‘Cause every night I see you in my dreams
You’re all I know I can’t let you go
Even though I try I can’t let go of something I need so badly
You’re all I know I can’t let go

could i hold you close beside me
could i jus wanna hold you
could i hve this kiss forever?

even though i pretend im okay...
but tt a lie tt gets me...

2008-08-03T01:36:00.003+08:00

why am i afraid to let u go wen ur not even mine?

moodswing...

hmms... i've got nth much to sae dese daes...
im not me animore tt is....
i dun even noe hu im rite nw...
everithing is cummin to me all at d same tym...
its everiwhere...
its strange how i could even b so close....
well...
hmms...
din do much tdy except for erm... dancing, dancing and im alwaes dancing...
woke up kinda earli tdy...
erm earli for me is not earli for usual ppl...
i gues its like 1055???
its earli luhs...
went for brunch wif d ppl hu brought me into dis world...
went to c grandma at her hus b4 miting d dancers...
wells... got a call frm kak daya ytd askin for dancers to dance for d 10th aniversary thingy...
merepek onli luhs tt channel news asia thingy...
jus bcus of tt we're not to watch concert in d hall...
oh wow...
wadeva...
hapi cus i miss malay dance...
hapi cus i get to perform on stage again...
went to kak yat's hus kat bedok...
n yes gues whre we danceed???
voiddeck...
d floor was superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dirty luhs!!!!!
went home and de out to ballet again...
superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sticki sial...
went to fairprice aft klass buy d japanee noodles tt daddieeeeeee wanted...
oke i actuali spent 28 bucks on d noodles...
wth rite?
mumi stil tinks tt d noodles is like 1.90 a pac?
went bk home...

IM SRSLY ADDICTED TO KINDER BUENO!!!!!!!!
im dying for more!!!!!!!

oh thanks to everione hu cared for me d past wk...
erm yea... i kinda brokedown alot wen im thinking...
yes it shocked everione...
and im shocked myself luhs..
i din xpect to feel liddat for a guy cus i din feel dis wae b4...

ali=> i cried cus u din talk to me....*sobxx*
ahahahahahahahah...

I cried cus i reli Fell to far this time

Better things are gonna come our way
You know we're gonna make it through this change
Beliving we could Have it all someday

Even though I try I can’t let go
Something in your eyes Captured my soul
And every night I see you in my dreams
You’re all I know I can’t let go
Just cast aside
You don’t even know I’m alive
You just walk on by
Don’t care to see me cry
And here I am Still holding on
I can’t accept
My world is gone
Do you know the way it feels
When all you have just dies
I try and try to deny that I need you
But still you remain on my mind
I'm wishing on stars
I've got to reveal what's inside of my heart
But the words escape me And I'm paralyzed
So helpless when I Look into your eyes
Don't you know That you're blowing my mind
What you do to me
I can't describe
Baby I can't hold back anymore

"he's a playa, slow it down"
They couldn't be who they was
Cause it just seemed like love Wasn't on their side

and its all cus I never felt The feeling that I'm feeling now:
i can't hide it no more baby...
its reli killing me inside... and im reli confused somehow....
i dunno why u're duin dis to me...
it was jus one month!!!!!!
we were like this close.....
close..closer den close...
u weren't jus a fren...
u were more den i even tot u were...
if i ever changed d past, i'll rewind d clock to d daes wen i started falling for u...
d dae when u looked me in d eye..
d dae when u told me tt u love me..
d dae when it all started...
and i'll swear tt i wun let u go dis tym...
cus i had u den but den i let u go....

was it sumthng i did?
was it sumthing u said?
was it cus u fell in love wif another gal?
was it cus it doesn't seem real?
was it fate?
was it cus we started as frens?
was it cus im afraid?
or u?
i'd tried so hard but i jus can't seem to let u go...

somehow somedae.... maebe................................................................

why am i so afraid to let u go when ur not even mine?
you're my sweetest addiction...
you're my sweetest secret...
and i dunno how to play it like im not in love wif you....

2008-07-30T15:49:00.004+08:00

i love dis picture!!!!!!! everything's not d same animore....
it isn't...
y can't he be tt guy who i knew 1 month ago?
y has everithing changed in jus 1 month?

aniwaes...im reli not in a good mood dis daes...
im not in the mood for anithing...
well, im trying my best to cheer myself up though...
everithing u see in me are mostly 'fake' tt is...

ani waes... my real purpose of blogging is for dese pics...
and ya to add sumthing to my dull blog...

dis is at wisma....
wells on saturdae's event though...
went to supposingly watch but ended up joining the search for singapore's next pcd...
i got pulled in by Daniel ong to join...
i was dis cloze to meeting d dolls but i din cus i was like shabbli dressed..
im in a tank top and jeans and FLIP FLOPS!!!!
dose reli hardcore gals wore like oh so my god...
imagine me in flipflops competiting with dose in boots?heels? wearing like cosset,mini skirts and shorts? wells it was all fine though... i mite hve shined if i was wearing reli sluty and reli like dem...but i was a fun experience luhs...
will b more prepared d next time....IF dere is a next time luhs...
d almost whole 987 fm crew...
DANIEL ONG!!!!!!
dis was d watch Ath bought...nice rite? too bad not for me...im onli in charge of helping her wrap...ahahahahahahaha...
know wad is cam whore?dis is cam whore...+ setting dis on my wallpaper is like..............
start of d year... sec 1 camp wif NATIARA!!!!

dere is summore pics but im not gonna upload tdy...
im reli sick and tired of life...

its not like this animore
don't act like we wasnt meant to be
don't act like you wasn't dere for me
don't try to put dis spell on me
you made me fall for you
but now tt dis may not come true
i couldn't do anithing but to wait for you
something inside says you'll b back
somehow i could stil feel tt ur here
somewhere inside of me
some dae we may still be
because i still believe
its not d same animore
how could u do this to me?
you told me tt u love me
was it all jus a lie?
you said tt u miss me so
and tt i dun noe how to cry
at first i thought tt it was jus a game
but it isn't animore
dis game brought me wae down deep
it went wae beyond dis friendship
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

bye earthlings....

2008-07-20T18:00:00.003+08:00

i've been crazi recentli...
heard of pcd's when i grow up?
i'll like to tell u wad i'd be when i grow up...
actuali i haf alot of ambitions...
1] cid...haha but den parents wun allow cus too dangerous...
2]professional dancer... tt may happen..or shuld i sae tt will happen?
3] air stewardess... i wanna c d world!!!!
4]wedding gowns designer... i love weddings!!! i loved dem since young... i'd go gila over wedding dresses and even d shops!!! tts y i love imm... i noe all d wedding shops dere!! xcept tt it changed thruout d yrs...[*sad*sobx sobx*]
5] BARTOP DANCER... recentli i've realised how boring life can b... i told dis "fantasies" to aryani she was like "OMG NANA NO!!!!" but i've got a different reply from Q "its okays... sugar has strange ambitions too" oh wells many guy frens object violently upon asking too... ahahahahahaha...
some dae... dese 5 ambitions may happen!!!!

this is bloody cute and its so true....

You know your a dancer when...
You have fights with gymnasts about who works harder.
You have blisters on your feet for life.
Your body cracks loud enough to stop class but you don't hear it.
You dance down the hallway instead of walk.
All your friends are eating dinner while you are in class.
You do plies and tendus while waiting in line.
You do grande jetes in the parking lot and down the streets.
Your friends ask you to over split "just for fun!".
You know more French than English.
Before everything you do you say 5,6,7,8.
You laugh at a non-dancer when they say their feet hurt.
You stand en Pointe in your shoes when talking to friends.
You bend over to pick up something and your leg shoots up to a 180* angle.
You get disgusted when you see cheerleaders for many reasons.
All the boys at school are afraid of you because you can kick so high.
Instead of calling rooms "rooms" you call them "studios".
When you go to get your hair cut you tell them to cut it long enough to be able to put it in a bun.
You always stand in first or fifth.
When your friends at school ask how your day/weekend was you tell them about what happened at dance/rehearsal.
You find bobby pins in the weirdest places - the kitchen, the shower drain, your shoes.
You forgot what your dance friends look like with "real" clothes.
You see an empty hallway, and it tempts you to do a grande jete.
Splits aren't that amazing; it is a way of life.
You penchee to pick something up that you dropped and then staying there trying to get your leg up higher.

i hadn't been dancing for a long time i guess...
been missing dance classes...
well its allrites for me as im not taking intermidiate dis yr...
thank god i din sign up for it..
i dun haf d tym to go for classes...
wells... i guess im gonna train like reli train aft 'o's..
i need to get back into dance...
ytd's class was hard core!!!!!
can you believe how d girls who are alwaes attending are slacking like crazi?
dey dun even noe d set work!!!!
omg... wells...
it was one of d times i actuali trained so hard on my back...
it was like stretching over and over again...
my left leg is reli stiffer den my right...
so unbalanced..
haha...
altitude deriare on d mirror wad a real killer!!!
and my back is reli hurting now...
all d rotations in d exercises are killing my butt!!!
i culdnt even walk properli now...
my balance wasnt reli dere ytd...
but i could do pretty lil piroettes!!!
my doubles are coming on neatly!!! woots!!!
it was reli intense dance training after so long...
nvm..im gonin in to INTENSE DANCE TRAINING aft exams...

talking to aryani's reli fun!!! ahahahahaha
myy reli reli crazi darling...
hahahahahahaha...
she's not taking care of her health dis daes..
that girl's on of a kind...
she's d one who i'd go crazi with..other den my babydoll Q...
she's also not taking care of herself...
but still can laugh like crazi...
dese 2 babes nvr fails to make me laugh...
of course with my other gila sister.. Ath...
dis one oso sama...
correction!!! dese 3 babes...
all of em is like down with flu dese daes...
guess im d strong one even though im like supergllued to em like d whole dae...
"MY DEAR SISTERS!!!! IM SO WORRIED FOR YOU!!!"

we can talk forever!!!!
and im still chatting wif her...
hahaha...
so so lucki to go for ndp luhhs...
bleahx!!!
oh and she said i was cute.. hahahahahaha

how could things go from so good a minute and turn into crap d next?!?!?!?!

everione's changing..i've noticed d difference... im not d onli one...
i've also realised im much luckier in a wae...
and tt im much worse in my beliefs and attitude compared to other giRls...

he's also been strange dese daes....
i dunno wad wrong...
i dun dare ask too much...
im afraid...
i reli confused...
i wanna talk to him...
i wanna ask so much...
but i dun seem to haf tt lil courage in me to ask him...
well.. i did ask if he was allrites though...
he jus said yes...
it feels strange tt he's not disturbing me...
it feels strange tt he's alwaes catching glimpses of me from a distance...
he's been so quiet...
somebody tell me wad m i to do in situations like dis????!?
its not like him to b so cold...
its not.. its wierd...
or could it be me?
culd it maebe sumthing i did or sae?
i've been trying somehow not to catch his eye...
well, u could sae tt bcus dis had not been a great week for me?
i wanna talk to u again...
waddm i suppose to do?????!?!?!?!?!?

i wanted you to be dere wen i fall;
i wanted you to see me thru it all;
i wanted you to be the one i love;
i wanted you to hold me in my sleep;
i wanted you to show me what i need;
i wanted you to noe jus how down deep...
i wanted you... i wanted you...

2008-07-17T16:17:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,
I Wanna Talk To Him Again
But Whenever He Is With His Friends He Keeps Trying To Pretend
What Can I Do
Tell Me What Can I Say
When Do I Let Him Know I Feel The Same Way

im having the day from HELL...
it wasn't goin so well...
i dunno why but sumhow i feel like im reli drifting away...
away from almost everything...
drifting away from lessons...
drifting away from sum friends...
drifting away from him...
and i'd continue to drift away...
im so not in the mood today...
until d end of sku...
went to popular to buy pens wif my bimbo...
thank god i stil have her...
she's one of my darlings who reli cared...
and im meeting my baby doll Q later...

why is everything's changing?
why do i don't understand things animore?
its getting complicated...
my mind and feelings are all mixed upp...
aiya..no mood to blogg ler...
will upload pictures wen i feel allrites...

He looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won’t see
That I want and I need him everything that we should be.
I’ll bet she’s beautiful,
that girl he talks about,
And she’s got everything that I have to live without.
That I can’t even see anyone when he’s with me.
He says he’s so in love,
he’s finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night.
He walks by me,
can he tell that I can’t breathe?
And there he goes,
so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be.
She’d better hold him tight,
give him all her love,
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she’s lucky 'cause..
He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star.
The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart.
He’s the time taken up,
but there’s never enough,
And he’s all that I need to fall into...

2008-07-12T23:55:00.003+08:00

im starting to fade away...

it takes a lifetime to find someone;

but a minute to fall in love.

had been spending alot of my tym alone wif my bff aryani dis daes...
went ice cream eating and jalan jalan aft sku...
i reli enjoy being wif her...
she's a sister who i culd turn to and to talk to though she had been a slut...
ahahahahaha...
I LOVE YOU ARYANI!!!

o levels had reli taken away my everything....
remedials even started on FRIDAY!!!!
m.fker!!!! seriousli i would rather go for cca now...
maybe i reli shuld start to camp in sku...
i dun even haf tym for my beloved laptop...
spending TOO MUCH of myy tym in sku...
cant wait to get out!!!!

getting rather attatched to a few things and a few peeps...
and im getting poorer..ahahaha...
skipping meals is a big thing now tt i jus culdnt even finish a bowl of rice...
intake of ********** is increasing... im even duin it at home!!!!
and yes its singapore's so it costs like twice of contra...
myy dad potong jalan all myy lighters also...
alwaes cum in myy rm to search for lighters...
dose in boxes i hide oso sumhow dissappeared.. but i relised tt it was cus he pack myy rm tt he saw so take...
take take take nvr cum bk...
dunno how he can lose lighters so fast...
nw lighters damn ex luh...
i cant even find any lighters at home luh!!!
who would haf thought tt a smoker's hus dun haf ani spare lighters???
haf oso is d damn fancy fancy ones luhh.. and all bo gas one...
haiyayayayayayaya...

sum ppl jus couldnt stop taking abt me...
bloody hell...
its jus a lil thing i'd did tt u din noe...
n sumhow d whole world got to learn abt it....
it had been goin on for quite sumtym ler... jus so u din noe... jus so d whole world din noe...
wad actuali is d point of letting d whole world noe and kicking up a big fuss abt it?????
wad gd has it done to u by making my life miserable?
since i dun even care y shuld u??
its more of a way to gif ppl a negative view of me instead dun u tink?
im not gonna make things miserable for me...
i'll put it aside and forget abt it...
jus dun turn my life upside down till tings get wae outta hand...
of u'd do it....
dun blame me for not being nice to u...
and stop telling d rest of d world!!!!
i'll shut up if u do...

arrrrgh!!!!
alot had been goin on now....
im so confused...
i dunno wadda sae or do animore...
d fact is tt im tired..tired of all dis childishness..
i dun wanna care animore...

im slowly changing....
im not as nice animore...
im not as innocent either...
im not d gal next door...
im not a lil gal...
and i gues its kinda obvious....
im starting to fade away...
im getting bolder dae by dae...
its pulling me away..
its not d same at hm and neither is it in sku...
i jus dun feel like i culd actuali trust ppl nw...
well of course except for some...
even my own parents are mistrusting me...
even i get irritated talking to them...
everything's not d same animore...
everything had changed..

its been crazi and my dear babyQ finallli uploaded d images...but

just abt 102hrs ago... sumthing even i din expect actualli happened...

guess its a yearning at d same time....though it was actuali a joke of a promise...
but i reli din expect him to do tt...
but tt moment was reli spectacular though....
i din actuali pull away and i din feel any butterflies in my stomach...
it seemed so natural and its like it was meant to be....
but sumhow he isnt mine...
at all!!!!
baby i cant help but wait...
i still promised u sumthing u promised me...
a lil sumthng btwn us and onli us...
baby u noe... im hopelessly falling for u...
daydreaming of u all dae..
in sku i cant concentrate..
wanna hear ur voice in my head...
nth reli matters..
i dun relli care...
is u tt matters...
is u tt i care...

but i dun wanna ignore a cry silently
a kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words becomes superflous...i dun wanna be jus tt gal.. i wanna be your gal...

it was more then a jus minute;
u did it purposely;
my mind went blank and you started to yearn for more;
in return we made another promise;
a promise i'll never wanna let go;
a promise i'l never let you go.

2008-06-29T22:09:00.002+08:00

what hurts the most-rascal flatts

its reli touching and reli sad...cried once and again watching it...its reli hard to say when tragic hits...

2008-06-29T20:54:00.003+08:00

its snowing tdy...
im kidding...
its like 35 degree luhh...
i reli haf diffculties waking up on sundae mornings...
i seriousli din noe it was alreadi mid dae wen i finali woke up...
well well well.. obviousli i woke up for d same reason...

mum: stephie wake up oreadi!!! are u goin to d hospital wif me?

as alwaes....
i din get to do aniting the whole dae..
went to mac for "brunch"...
dento d hospital again...
wow wad fun...
im so drowsy frm all tt intense heat tdy...
well... tt fking bitch din go to d hospital tdy...so y she even critising me?
bloody hell...knnbccb!!!!
0ops... hu cares?

well im bk hm duin supposdly myy art theory for d boards...but...
im so d blur now...
strayed away and changed my blogskin....
ahahahahahahaha...now no more copy...
nw officialli mine....
TAG ME PEEPS...
i've got a new tag board!!!!!
Thanks to Elaine...

im reli sleepy now..but i wanna watch d incredible tales later..so im staying up a bit more...
i've been reli tired dese daes...
for sum reasons i dun even noe...
maebe cus im bk in sku..
and night service on sbs is reli scary!!!!!
haf been on d bus all alone and its not reli late yt....
if ur alone on d bus sit at d back cus u'll nvr noe wads gonna happen if ur in front...
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

got art tml and im done wif history...
and i left bio under my table!!!!
shiat!!!!
mus chong tml durin mt ler
but tt nw teacher wif d china accent is damn bloodi irritating luhhs...
keep askin us to put our works away and do chinese...
MT IS OVER!!!WADS UR PROBLEM???

dun care ler luh... im damn stress ler..
and im begining to start my addiction again... wth...
in other words...i shuld sae i had nvr quit...jus stopped...its different!!!

a shot to kill d pain;
a pill to drain d shame;
a purge to stop d gain;
a cut to break d vein;
a smoke to ease d grave;
a drink to win d game;
an addicton's an addiction;
cus it alwaes hurts d same;
ur my perfect sign of addiction;
ur alwaes making me wan more...

2008-06-29T02:19:00.002+08:00

a song speaks for wat i feel again...its reli meaningful... yea n its wad im sorta like goin thru'...

maybe-jay sean

Beep beep
Oh look now there goes my phone
And once again
I'm just hoping it’s a text from you.
Mmm
It aint right
Read your messages twice, thrice, four times a night
Its true
Everyday,
I patiently wait
Feeling like a fool but
I do anyway
Nothing can feel as sweet and as real
As knowing I wasn't waiting in vain

[chorus]
Maybe its true
I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance that you’re stuck on me too
But maybe I’m wrong
It’s all in my head
Maybe we’re afraid of words we both haven’t said

I'm always connected online
Look on Facebook all the time
Hoping you’ve checked my profile
Just can't help wondering why
You play it cool It's just
I'm hopelessly falling for you
Every night On the phone
I Wait up for you
And I don't really like it girl
All choking inside
What say you and I Come out and say what we're trying to hide

[chorus]
Maybe its true
I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance that you’re stuck on me too
But maybe I’m wrong
It’s all in my head
Maybe we’re afraid of words we both haven’t said

Like "I really want you"
"I think I need you"
"Baby I miss you"
"I'm thinking of you"

Like "I really want you"
"I think I need you"
"Baby I miss you"
"I'm thinking of you"

[chorus]
Maybe its true
I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance that you’re stuck on me too
But maybe I’m wrong
It’s all in my head
Maybe we’re afraid of words we both haven’t said

[chorus]
Maybe its true
I’m caught up on you
Maybe there’s a chance that you’re stuck on me too
But maybe I’m wrong
It’s all in my head
Maybe we’re afraid of words we both haven’t said

Maybe it is true (Baby I miss you)
I'm caught up on you (I really want you)
Maybe I am wrong Baby I miss you...

ITS NOT D OTHER WAE ROUND BITCH

2008-06-28T23:21:00.008+08:00

im not so myself nw but i'll blogg SUM things tt happened onli luhhs... since it had been almost 4 daes...as im kinda pissed rite nw....

im superrrrrrrrr tired nw... and i strained my right calf muscles... i culdnt reli walk nw.. so i rather sit...
went to sku in d morn... den bk hm to grab myy ballet stuff ans take a shower b4 goin to d hospital...went to sakae sushi for myy meal of d dae...
wells.. din finish rice though...
went to john lil sale kat expo wif mum...
bought a pair of boots!!!! yea its sumthng other den sunglasses tt i'd go crazi for...
i bough a pair of calf length high fo like $29.90 onli luhs!!!
its frm charles and keith...it was $69 or $79 b4 sale...actuali wanted a white one but den im like alreadi tall and tt boots is ard 5 inch high so yea will be lagi tall...so gave tt one up...
d last pair of boots i bought was late last yr.. tt one was carlo rino... tt one was expensive!!! damn bloodi ex... but i love it!!! its so d... ME!!! wells went for ballet aft tt...
den to ntuc for sum grocery shopping...
and den bk hm...
im reli restless now...im becumming a ghost...
it not me.... sumhow...im reli not energetic tdy...

went for nite studi again ytd...
like for d first tym Q and i were earlier den abg...
did myy history.. and den went to slag outside...
im getting closer to a few peeps....
mostly d rugby boys....
and yea... alot closer to Q...
and her mom's cute... ahahahahahaha...

me: bye auntie...
Q: bye mak!!!
Q's mom: bye... study hard!!! dun pai tuo!!!

im feeling not d same nw...
imagine not eating for 24 hrs....
onli drinking water... well.. my stomach had beeen rejecting food AGAIN....
but look on d bright side.... can lose weight... ahahahahaha...yeah!!!
i had myy first meal jus nw...i din eat dinner though...ahahahahaha...
but who cares????i dun aniwaes...
and i did sumthing i din imagine i'd do but its sorta like a deja vu...
i gues im getting abitbit closer to abg too.. he's sumone i can turn to for help and to open up to... and he cares...though he may joke ard sumtyms...he cares if i'd get hurt...
and i din noe i was worth onli $5 bucks ehs abg?
nite studi is fun wif dem....dey are ppl who brings life to d lifeless plce...
i've been bk hm ard 2230 recentli... and i tink its better tt im not imprisoned frm ard 8 onwards...
at least i've tym wif frends....
Tris came down wen i ws abt to go ytd...
and Kelly's cute... she's reli friendli...

thursdae aft blaja...at blk 874...wore my bands wich d boys calls it 'sexbands'; wells..boys will b boys...d fun and laughter broke out wen Khai broke my 'sexband' ..i dunno how he managed to brake it...he was talkin bout it den he said he was afraid tt he'd hurt me if he broke one of em and he started talking to abg dey all den he suddenly took my hand and randomly tarik one out luhhs... and Tristan and d rest kip teasing me luh...and Tris came out wif "IDEAS" to....eherm....i was like mrt luh better...
ahahahahahaha.... den tris came out wif "ideas" again tt boonlay mrt got not alot of ppl... or adjuneid[however its spelled] very clean... ahahahahaha....
i found 2 wich snapped earlier in my pocket den khai took it... i dunno y he wanted so mani...he calls em reciepts... ahahahahahaha...

khai: now i've got 3 so ur hus or my hus?
tris: y u nd so mani? satu hari cukup luh...

and it kip goin on....
tdy went bk for art... at 9..wth rite? i noe... beeen dere done tt...
i got reli bored squeesing loads and loads of eekiiee yuckee paint so i started doodling wif d paints... c... got my name... ahahahaha... d dark brown looks like chocolate fudge luhhs... ahahahahah...

myy almost completed master piece... it looks wierd luhhs... guess i reli haf to paint d whole thing to get d picture rite... d main thing is alomst readi... almost... cus im one hu mr tan din help so im struggling on my own... i guess it shuld turn out fine unless..........

but seriousli... i've been dead alreadi and been reli tired to reli concentrate though... and its bloody distracting... oh and ya.. d big and ain thing was tt myy mp3 low batt and it started to blackout so i wasnt into myy work ler...

dis was taken last saturdae... it was supposed to b a bimboish shot but sumhow my mum din noe howdda use myy fone to take pics so was damn slow and it turned out wif me laughing while d shot was taken...
peace out man!!! myy glasses is fugging big!!
alil too much space for our faces looks small... ahahahaha... tt's myy dad btw...how in d world does he look like a loan shark?????????? he looks decent here!!!!

cake eating and not tt much of cam whoring wif d Q and Yani... tts Aryani's hand feeding Q wif her mudpie... ahahahaha...

myy rose... mum sayys it looks like a pic of birds....ermmms.... i dunno how birdds came into d picture.....

tried mac's greentea macflurry yt?? i tink its quite nice... and im not a reli big fan of macflurry and thus dun eat it but i kinda likie this one....

chocolates frm ms Z. its sum white chocolate wif strawberries... it kinda sweet... but its nice...well... not everi one likes it so i gotta eat 3 instead if 2... abg din want it though... ahahahah...

dis is ferrero.... its frm another country... its dark chocolate... but lemme tell u its 5 tyms better den ferrero though....
in cs's toliet waiting for Q...
we're jus bored!!!!
at starbucks... got candid but i gotta 'pose'?but look at myy sister... eyeing on my cake ehs ARYANI???? jus in tym for d nxt one....

wells... tt was d gd tyms...
finali to say y im pissed... she is like fucking demanding luhs!!!!
i fucking dun care if she did even fucking read my blog... i reli cannot take it animore...
1 u talk abt d wae i dress... wad sae all my shorts and mini skirts...
i dun care... i tahan luh...
den i wear sumthing tt jus cus of a pic i bend down can c parts of my cleavage u mmake bloody hell alot of noise... allrites.. i stil dun care... but den u start to critise tt myy legs are big and stuff...MY THIGHS AND CALF MUSCLES ARE TRAINED OUT ONE ALLRITES? AT LEAST ITS NOT FATS!!! LIKE URS...KNN... but WTF d nxt ting i noe u're wearing shotr skirts and shorts????? BLODY HELL!!! but den again wad u actuali wan me to wear? baju kurong?in singapore's weather??? ++ i dance and stuff i change ofthe u tink wearing thick fur clothes is helping me???
2 tym i dress to wad u sae its 'proper'? uu start to sae myy mum...FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! TTS MYY MUM UR TALKING TO ALRITES? U DO NOT DISRESPECT HER LIDDAT!!! AND OBVIOUSLI WADEVEER UR NOT HAPPY ABT IS $$$ BETWN UR MUM AND MINE ITS NONE OF UR FUCKING BUISNESS TT U HAF TO INTERFERE ALLRITES?i gues ur an educated woman... so PLS SHOW SUM RESPECT FOR UR ELDERS!!!
3 now its ME AGAIN TT UR NOT HAPPY WIF...
allrites ur jealous tt im close to my parents... especialli my dad... so wad?????U JEALOUS UR PROBLEM LUH!! I DUNNO Y ITS ME TT UR DUIN TO... U TINK UR BLOODY PERFECT TT U HAF WAD SAE A "HOT BODY" OH PLEASE....UR NOT AT ALL SEXY IN ANY ANGLE ALLRITE? DUN TAKE MOTHERS TO SAY UR LIKE FAT EVEN B4 U GET MARRIED...
UR LIKE JEALOUS OF WAD ABT ME? TT IM LIKE TALLER DEN U? WELL IM TALLER DEN MOST AVERAGE PPL SO UR JEALOUS TT UR ARD 16++ ONLI?OR ISIT 15++?DEN MY DRESSING... DEN MY CLOSENESS TO MY PARENTS...NOW WAD?
FOR MY WHOLE BLOODY JUNE HOLS IM SPENDING MY BLOODY TYM IN SKU ARBO IN D HOSPITAL SO JUS BCUS U DIN C ME TT MEANS TT I DUN GO TO D HOSPITAL ISIT?WTFUCK?I DUN NOE HU IS D ONE TTS NOT IN D HOSPITAL BUT PAI TUOING...so u saes u haf to study... fine... studi... im also studying... but den im like spending 5 hrs daily in d hospital, abt 2 hrs for tarvelling tym here and dere..so everitym u din c me u'll ask my mum arbo ahma's maid where m i? like HELLO im still studying rmb? and i dun even haf tym to rest? at hm? i haf to b in d hopsital earlier den u to b considered as a gd granddaughter? wad abt u? arnt u d same generation as me?NBCB!!! so u can dun cum to d hospital for as mani daes as u're "NOT FREE" but i cannot even though im stil studying??? i dun bloodi haf tym for my own... i onli managed to go out at nite for a dae... nw u pput it to my mum and all d adults dere tt aas if i had not been goin to d hospital to c ahma liddat... RELI WAD IS UR PROBLEM AGAINST ME? CUS IM UR CUSIN SISTER AND TT IM YOUNGER AND TT IM D LOVED CHILD TT U WAN SUMTHING OUT OF ME? WAD'S D BIG DEAL TO B JEALOUS TT UR MOM LOVES ME AND RMBS ME AND BUY THINGS FOR ME? AND WAD IS WRONG TO B CLOSE TO MY DAD? U DISLIKE UR DAD..ITS U NOT ME... I LOVE MY DAD...SO ITA NO LINK ALLRITES? U CAN B CLOSE BUT U CHOOSE NOT TO SO? U GAN ZUO U SHULD GAN DANG WAD... SO Y U JEALOUS FOR THINGS LIKE DIS?
nw d latest news is ytd wen im not dere in d hospital..bcus i was STUDYING if u forgot.. im having my 'o's dis yr....ur not... ur like 25?or 26?i dun bother...u asked my mum where i was again? oohh. according to ur mum..ur on MC and u onli turned up at 1945 wen d hospital's resting tym was 2000 which means u came wen d hopsital was chasing ppl out aft hours... WTF? and u stil dared to ask "where is nana" go to hell luh!!!
my mum say im in sku u were like "u sure she's in sku ma? i saw alot of students changing to hm clothes den go downtown east dere..."
LOOK I DUN CARE IF U CRITISES ME...MY DESSING, AND D TYMS U LOOK DOWN ON ME BY SAYING I DIN NOE HOW TO WEAR HEELS... HMPH...I MAE B TALL BUT IM TRAINED TO WALK ON MY TOES IF U HAD FORGOTTEN SO WALKING ON HEELS IS NOT A BIGDEAL...NOW UR TRYING TO MAKE MY PARENTS MISTRUST ME?WAD IS UR PROBLEM?IN SKU OSO CAN MAKE U SAE UNTIL IM NOT IN SKU... LUCKI FOR U.. MY PARENTS TRUSTS ME... I DUN EVEN CARE WHO D HELL U DATE WAD D HELL U WEAR WHO U LIKE WAD U DO AND ALL TT... I DUN EVEN ASK CUS I RESPECT U AS MY ELDER SISTER SO I HAF MANNERS AS TO RESPECT PPL OLDER DEN ME...BUT ALL DIS IS BLOODY NO USE LUH... DIS IS WAD I GET FRM RESPECTING U?ITS NOT LIKE TT BITCH!!!
IF U TINK IM ON MY OWN... UR FUCKING WRONG...U WANT TO B A BITCH?? WELL I'LL PLAY WIF U... DEY DIN CALL ME A BITCH FOR NTH... MAEBE U TINK IM D LIL ANGEL WHO I CAN BULLI... UR FUCKING WRONG AGAIN!!!! U WANNA PLAY BITCHY EH?I'LL B A BITCH... IF U TINK IM NOT ENUF, AND U WANNA USE UR FISTS DESPITE UR RELI TALL BF, I'LL SETTLE IT WIF U USING MY FISTS...U TINK IM SUMONE A SUMTHNG...I'LL B A SUMTHING NW... DUN U FUCKING TINK I'LL SHOW MERCY ON U ANIMORE.. SUN U TINK I'LL B UR LIL ANGEL... LISTEN BITCH... IF U DUN RESPECT ME AND BY MANIPULATING MY PARENTS HELPS U..BY THEM SIDING U...UR FUCKING WRONG...IM DEIR FLESH AND BLOOD ALLRITES?UR RUDENESS AGAINST ANI ADULT IS ALREADI TAKEN NOTE OF ALRITE..U DUN RESPECT MY PARENTS ITS OKE...BUT LISTEN DUN U EVEN TINK I'LL RESPECT U EITHER...I DUNNO WAD I DID WRONG IN MY PAST LIFE TO HAF A CUSN LIKE U... MANIPULATE MY MUM AGAIN... U HAFEN TRIED PAIN YET.... U DUNNO WAD PAIN IS EITHER...BUT IF U CONTINUE TO DO DIS AND IF I HEAR ANI DAMN THING ABT DIS... I'LL MAKE U UNDERSTAND WAD PAIN MEANS...ITS NOT DIS WAE BITCH...LAST THING AS I'LL GO ON..AND I DUNWANT TO CUS IM SHOWING UR MUM SUM FACE ALLRITES....LAST THING IM ASKIN U TO DO :FUCK OFF MY LIFE...IM D ONE WHO'S RUNNING MY LIFE...I DECIDE HOW I LIVE..I DECIDE HOW I DRESS I DECIDE EVERITHING IN MY LIFE....SO FUCK OFF MY LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE...IF U DISRESPECT MY MUM AGAIN...U'LL RELI GONNA GET IT...IF UR NOT HAPPY;IM READY TO SEVERE TIES WIF U AND IM READI TO START S FIGHT CUS I'VE BEEN LIVING MY CHILDHOOD WIF WORDS U SAE TO HURT ME...IF U HAD A BAD CHILDHOOD ITS NOT MY FAULT AND IM NOT D ONE WHO CAUSED IT...SO DUN MAKE MINE LIKE URS...ITS PARTLY ALREADI A NIGHTMARE..BUT IM ALREADI IMMUNE TO WAD U SAY SO DUN MAKE ME FUCK U OFF..AND I DUN CARE IF IM YOUNGER OR WAD... RESPECT ME FOR WHO I AM...BUT IF U DUN RESPECT ME..I WILL NEVER RESPECT U...U WAN TO PLAY DIRTY, I'LL GO ALONG...I MEAN WAD I SAE SO IF UR LOOKING FOR A FIGHT,UR GONNA LOSE...

2008-06-24T22:14:00.004+08:00

i hafen been blogging for erm...not tt long...ahahaha
got alot of pics to blogg but i damn lazy to connect my fone...
will up load soon i guess...
i got bk myy ballet results!!!! it wasnt wad i xpected though...
misssed by 2 markes!!! 2 marks to get distinction!!!nb!!! bloody hell!!!
myy poetique wasnt wad i xpected though...i've got 13/20!!! WTH!?!?
myy demi-caractere was not as gd either...but i sorta xpected it to b liddat...
myy favourite ddance din dissappoint me though... I LOVE ETUDE LYRIQUE!!!!
danse russe was also okok nia...
ms pang was kinda upset too as she xpected higher frm us...
but dat xaminer was super strict luhhs!!!!knn!!!!
irritating!!!!damn sad....

wells... yesterdae went cake eating aft sku wif my bimbo and my slut...
thnx to my bimbo we all got hooked on or can i sae craved for cakes...
and thanks to my slut for tempting me into d world of chocolates...
as u guessed... we all ate chocolate cakes...ahahahhaha
had a lil girl's talk...
wells..it was d start of sku ytd luhss...
i miss myy bed oreadi....
wells... i was kinda looking forward though cus of.................
hmms.. caught a few glimpse of him ard... but not alot of contact cus of d bloodi tym table... gotta run for classes...

wells... tdy was a bit hint of happiness... i dunno if its even a happi thing...
sku was usual met pamm and yea being d usual late queen, i was later den her again... ahahahahahah...
got chem test and it was bloody diffcult!!!!
art was d best... im starting to like goin to art now...
alot of peeps got talked by ms yuen...
she was making lives hell for sum..but hell was wen we relised we onli got 6 more days to pass up the canvas... wow!!
kns...
but got to skip maths remedial...
is not i dun wan go d wor... is bo bian ndda finish myyy art...

hmms... i love recess...
sumhow.....'
myy bimbo saw sumthng wich irritated her...ahahahahahahah
tt was erms...
he tried to look for eye contact wif me...
yea... saw him digonalli opp me wen i was dere...
he kept on bio me luh... even aryani felt tt...
wen he finali caught myy eye he showed d peace sign....
and yea... his frenss ard did look myy wae too....
sumhow i dunno y...
dey seem to noe sumthng i dun...
dey were smilling....
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
but d whole tym aft tt b4 ppl block d view and wen his frens started talking to him, he kept on looking myy way...
yea... i dunno y either...
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
ahahahahahahhahaha.........
guess i reli m crazi oreadi....

and i'd continue to fall deeper and deeper....
got you half flippin like fire
come with me let me take you higher
i'm the object of all your desire
and your attention is all i require
don't stop now cause you on a roll
make me go anywhere that you go
i'm that dream in your head when you're sleepin'
i'm that secret inside that you're keepin'
if its tt true..
and if we haf fate or a chance...
i wanna b wif u...

2008-06-20T00:57:00.002+08:00

im blogging very d late again.... sumhow...
i lazi to continue frm last post...
its like no biggy onli v funni...
ahahahahahahahaah...

update frm wednesdae:
went for art as usual...
guess u shuld noe... i was late again...
well it had alwaes been in me to b late...
blame me...
wells continued to paint...
sumhow mr tan iznt reli happi wif pammie's art and i felt like slapping him...
she spent alot alot alot of tym painting tt ferris wheel and he told her it wasnt nice and tt she had to cover over with paint... wth rite?
wells..left art at 1245 liddat and seeing tt we had to bring d bloody 8 boards hm... we all sian yi ban lor...
it is reli damn heavy...not tt heavy as in wad but yea i din haf a clipto clip d thing and i obviousli din wanna carri it to bugis...so i jie fang at chloe's hus...
but reli lucki for tt...cus it rained on the wae to bugis on d train...
went to pasta mania to makan though...
went to bugis but couldnt reli more ard cus it was raining cats and dogs!!!
and for sum reasons we din bring umbrellas cus it had been 'snowing' d past few daes...
din xpect it to actuali rain...
oh god...
wells... got to walk ard bugis street and yea of course we got a lil wet and myy shoes WERE white... but it wasnt wen i got home... damn sad...
got to bras bersah to art friend to get the brushes...
we couldnt find d shelf for all d brushes though it was d stretch in frntof us...
all d brushes are so bloodi expensive luhhs...
but bought d lao ya ones as tts d ones we could and we would rather afford...
wells...aft tt we go take neoprints..
it was veri long since i took neoprints ler cus nw got computer use hp faster and can dl and its free!!! wells...
got onto d train and bk to tampines..err...simei to CGH...
went to hospital den bk hm...

update on thursdae...wich is abt 2 hr ago:
did nth and cus i woke up fugging late... i woke up abt 1313 and yea..its d latest i usuali slp in durin the hols [xcept for weekends...]
cooked noodles and ate lamb chop instead cus d noodles were awful...d vingar made me throw up though..and yess m bodi continues to reject food aft tt...
it did get better but i still eat half a bowl of rice to stop myy mum frm nagging...
went to d hospital to c ahma again...
went market for dinner...
daddikins got a haircut and i played wif his hair again though...
ahahahahahahhahahah..
i said d old sentence..dad we look alike..cus of ur eyes..its so small..and i got tt gene...
den he gave me d hao lian look
me: dun gif me tt look!
dad: u alwaes look on my left side onli and den start to say tt myy follow my eyes so small...
me:wells..its true wad...its d xy gene...i din get to chose...
dad: cant u look at my right side instead?
me: does it help at all? y do u look like brad pitt frm d right?
mum and ahyi:[ laughing]
me: wells.. its hard to c him in u dad...xcept for d tittle father...ahahahahah
wells...went hm and watch ANTM...
woots.. i oso wanna trim myy hair...
like chantal.. her hair is so bloody nice...
and its bangs too!!!
ahahahah..
mum jus scared me... suddenly came in and nag and say i m alwaes on d comp and its 2 + ler..
god...
gues i gtg ler... im tired again.. nites!!!

2008-06-18T01:06:00.003+08:00

allrites..its fcuking late now and i've got to go to sku later in d day...
hmms.. wadeva luhhs...
aniwaes gotta concentrate on myy art ler... no more playying lers..
yea so i actuali styed up to charge myy mp3 for tml...and hp sun pian luhhs...
ahahahahahahahah
goin to art frind wif chloe later...
a few hrs ago was damn funni...
aft ballet i went over to 164 for dinner wif myy parents..
went bk hm tt tym at carpark...havoc sial!!
now i understand y fairus dey all sae daddikins looks like a gangster though....
d wae he talks...
got d bloodi asshole park car park 2 lots... de alot of cars cant park and carpark her at myy hus is bloodi horrible..cum hm ard 6 +7 oso no place park den dis ass park 2 lots and it was ard 9 + bloodi hell arbo we haf to walk a distance bk home to park at d other side of d neighbourhood...
wells... u mae haf guessed tt d car was a rented car and tt its parked by coupon
wells i walked to d frnt and copied d no fo LTA to complain d... den mummisie called...
it was ard 2140 at tt tym...
den we waited for d ass to cum down as his coupon's gonna expire...
ard 2155 d ass came down... and it was confrontation tym...
here goes...

dad+mum; hey u... u noe how fucking selfish u ar to park on 2 parking lots?alot of cars actuali wanted to park here but because of u dis bloodi ass, dey had to park metres away wen dey can actuali park here?
guy;[stunned,kept quiet as mummisie and daddikins continued]
dad; i've been here waiting and see how many ppl actuali tried to park allrites? and dey all coulsnt do it cus of an asshole like u!?!?!?i dun sae wad but at least take sum pity on dose ppl whose carrying babies and den all d heavy groceries...
guy;i noe its my mistake...
dad;if u noe its ur mistake den u shuldnt haf done tt..how selfish can u be?

too be continued...
im fucking tired.. and lazi to blogg ler...
ps.. stay tuned though for more...erms..actions?
i still NEED my beauti sleep 5 hrs nia to slp...

i dun care wad dey sae.. im in love wif u...

dis is cute; " sex without love is a form exercise"
so prostitudes are jus doin exercise though... so...prositution is not a crime and a biggy...ita a career..

sorre bout myy pic... its bloodi big.. will adjust it sumhow... im so tired nw... i coulsnt do much...
a bit bit blurr rite now...tkpe luhhs... u can onli c my flaws.. will do sumthing to it...promise!!

adious!!! aku nk tido... tk boleh tahan oreadi...aku nk mati....selamat malam peeps!!!

2008-06-17T01:28:00.002+08:00

I LOVE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE!!!

2008-06-17T00:03:00.004+08:00

hmms....random pics of exotics i tasted in and out of singapore.... geeeeeeee....

eewwwwwwwwwwwwww...its like maggots..how d hell do ppl eat it..its like nuts though but its freaking disgusting...its sum kinda chinese herb....

dis soup haf like damn strong chinese herbs wich i sorta dislike d smell...dere's too much and its freaking strong!!!
dis cookie is flown frm japan....
it tastes kinda local though...but d print is cute...'of course i noe its a cookie!?!'
candies cookies frm philipines

wells...i guess d tdy in dis post shuld b ytd and tt tml shuld b later...

hmms...

been in n out of d hospital dese daes..din wanna blogg.. damn sian

wells...tdy earli morning wake up..hmms..oso canot sae veri earlli lihhs..im still late for art..

yea not 5 or 10 mins but abt half an hour to 45 mins late...not suprising though..got ppl later den me...

sumting mus haf strucked me sial...

for d veri firdt tym mr tann praise me....ahaha..hmms..first tym cus im alwaes goin against him..

and yea...he din reli bothered abt me like he dose wif pammie dey all luhhs...but... lagi betta though..got dis phobia tt he walk to me and ask for my undone work...hmms..i hafen finished my little bits of s paper and im oreadi painting...

i reli wanna bring my canvas home..i haf a feeling tt dere's no tym liao and my bloodii big and dead flower haf alot to figure out cus all my lines made me confused and i sort of agar agar d paint...tracing was ez luhhs but figuring out where is where is kinda tidious...

wells..now i'd rather stay for art instead of goin aniwhere else...

culdnt reli concentrate tdy though...cus my mp3 low batt... nth to focus so left wif distractions...

maebe i reli m a music person...

I NEED MUSIC TO WORK!

aft art i went hm and bathe and eat mumisie bake d sheperd's pie...

and watch monster in law...

although i dunno how mani 100 tyms i've watched it...

i can even rmb wad d actor/actress lines...

sumhow..i fell asleep...

and i overslept again...

got ballet at 1630hrs...

but ahahahaha...

was half anhour to 45 mins late too...

ppl haf bodi clocks but i dun seem to haf 1....

i wun wake up at 630 even though its a holidae...

and once ppl wakes up dey usuali wun slp bk in d afternoon...but i willl...

tdy kinda forgetful though..got tricked tooo...

din bring myy ballet shoes...

wow..i brought my caracter shoes instead..

wewll i tot ms pang said it was rehersal but it turned out to b an intermidiate class...

and i din wanna go hm cus im oreadi dere...

lets see if i'd b late again tml...

went to hospital again..aft ballet.. and bk home...

and blogging now...

im becumming a noctious[if im not wrong] animal...

slps in d dae and wide awake at nite..

unless i bo bian ndda go sku den is a diff stori...

MY BIMBO IS BECUMMING LIKE ME!!!

SHE GOT BANGS!!!woots!

guess im d one hu influenced her alot too... but hu cares?

ARYANI LOVES ME!!!

I LOVE ARYANI TOO!!

seems like v long since i last saw him....

hmms....

din msg him dis few daes...

cus he is also like me...active in d nite onli...

ahahahaha..

it sound so wrong but yea imagine waking up at 1920...

cute!!! gee.i tink im falling deeper..

but i'd keep falling....

2008-06-12T23:49:00.002+08:00

went for muvee tdy...

kungfu panda is a mus watch!!!

its so funni...

was wif myy twin and fairus as we went to ehub at downtown east..

alex sumhow was stil slping so dey said he din wana go ler...

tristan was stil working..so...guess ayus went n find him later tonite...

inal... went to jb..like he was so confident tt he'll b wif us wen we met ytd n he said...

called last minute peeps to watch wif us..

wells, aidil and haikal came...

in replacement of d 2 boys wich din show up...

po d panda and fairus haf alot in common!!! ahahaha...

d wae dey talk and deir actions...

ahahaha...xcept for one thing though..ayus could c his toes...

but d cinema was distracting..alot of kids...

so almost everi tym u can hear..'mummi i wan dis'..'mummmi i wan dat'..

but its reali funni... d cinema is kinda cold aft awhile though...

went to bk for dinner...

myy twin left to mit her famili in ntuc..

continued myy journey bk to tampines wif d 3 boys...

haikal and ayus as uusual kip taking ciggrettes out so..aidil n i was left bhind...

but dey jus light d cig den d bus cum..ahahaha...

d bus was crowded luhhs..at first got seperated sits...

den ppl left awhile.. so got empti sits at d bk...

aidil wanted to sit wif me...i duno y...in cinema oso...

so i sat on d inner sit n he sat nxt to me..hikal sat on d left side.. ayus sat in frnt of us..

but yea he kip on disturbing hikal..calling him lil boy..

frm d start where he got a sit till d end at int..ayus kip askin himm to sit wif him..

damn funni...

he was quieet in d aft wen he was wif claire and me...

sunhow d boys brought life into hhim...

dey were swit..dey waited for bus wif me b4 d left...

it had been fun..hanging out wif em all tdy..

xcept for mummi and daddie's smses and calls tt ask if i was goin bk and stuff...

so yea..oh and claire and i was said to b ah lians?

potential ah lians.. like..huh? aidil said it though...

innocent!!! did nth...

hmms..ayus said i was like d tigeress in kungfu panda...

in other words not d 'nice' gal...cus claire was viper d snake...

she's d nicer one...ahahaha...

but d ah lian part..hmms...

but thanks for d dae guys...had alot of fun though...

though u guys kip speaking in mly...

n guess ur used to communicating wif me in mly...myy twin kinda fell left out huhs?

nxt tyym mus ask her pick up mly ler...arbo she v ke lian...

2 daes in a row ppl sae i like ah lian... cmi ler luhhs...

but wells.. ayus;inal dey all sae daddikins looks like loan shark...

jus bcus tt dae daddikins was tellin summone off on d fone and tt he was smoking..and sorta harsh in tones and as usual his shirt was buttoned at d bottom onli and tt can c his chain hanging out..so liddat dey sae daddikins looks like loanshark...

ahahahahahaha...

daddikins alwaes saes..if liddat arnt u oso like in d black side?since u're a loan sharks daughter...

ahahahahahahaha...

so not true!!!

but i've gotta admit..alot of influence frm myy bimbo..

i guess we wernt called blood sisters for nth..

im reli becumming a bitch!!!but well she's a minah..

its sumwad same!!!bimbo!!!

i love aryani!!!

black is so myy colour now...sumhow...

i love black and purple!!!

i guess my bill mite crash dis mth...

been msging baby..

and he woke up at 1820 jus nw...

he broke his promise to call me in d morn though..

ytd wen slpt i doubt he alreadi did...

he stil wanted to chat...ahahaha...

i miss him!!!

got art tml... gotta go..sadly..i nk tido!!!!!

got addicted to dis song too sum how...guess d lyrics r kinda meaninful...

last night

(feat. Diddy)

[Diddy:]

Last night.

I couldn't even get an answer.

I tried to call but my pride wouldn't let me dial

.And I'm sitting here with this blank expression.

And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.

I know you can hear me.

I know you can feel me.

I can't live without you.

God, please make me betta.

I wish I wasn't the way I am.

[Keyshia Cole:]

If I told you once, I told you twice.

You can see it in my eyes.

I'm all cried out with nothing to say.

You're everything I wanted to be.

If you could only see your hearts belongs to me.

I love you so much.

I'm yearning for your touch.

Come and set me free.

Forever yours I'll be.

Baby, won't you come and take this pain away.

[Diddy:]

Last night.

I couldn't even get an answer.

(You said you couldn't get an answer baby)

I tried to call but my pride wouldn't let me dial.

(But that should never stop you)

And I'm sitting here with this blank expression.

(Sitting there, I can't reach your mind baby)

And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.

(The way I feel, a baby)

[Keyshia Cole:]

I need you and you need me.

This is so plain to see.

And I would never let you go.

And I will always love you so.

I will...If you could only see your hearts belongs to me.

I love you so much.

I'm yearning for your touch.

Come and set me free.

Forever yours I'll be.

Baby, won't you come and take this pain away.

[Diddy:]

Last night.

(Oh, last night)

I couldn't even get an answer.

(Baby why you wanna do me, yeah)

I tried to call but my pride wouldn't let me dial.

(Why won't you just call me baby oh?)

And I'm sitting here with this blank expression.

(Don't sit there baby, no, no, no)

And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.

( Alright, I'm so alone; I'm so lonely, baby)

[Bridge:]

Tell me what there is to say to make you come back.

Don't break me like that.

And if it matters I'd rather spend my life with you.

I'm never alone.

Whenever you're home just phone me.

[Diddy:]

Last night.

(Yeah)

I couldn't even get an answer.

(Couldn't get an answer baby, oh)

I tried to call but my pride wouldn't let me dial.

(Call me baby, why couldn't you just dialMe baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby)

And I'm sitting here with this blank expression.

(Don't sit there, no)

And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.

(Alright, I'm so alone, I'm so lonely baby)

[Keyshia Cole:]

I need you and you need me.

(Need you, I need you)

This is so plain to see.

And I would never let you go.

And I will always love you so.

I will...If you could only see your hearts belongs to me.

(Only see)

I love you so much.

(So, so)

I'm yearning for your touch.

Come and set me free.

Forever yours I'll be.

Baby, won't you come and take my pain away.

(Hey)

[Diddy:]

Last night.

I couldn't even get an answer.

(I couldn't catch you baby, no)

I tried to call but my pride wouldn't let me dial.

(Call me baby, why couldn't you just dialMe baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby)

And I'm sitting here with this blank expression.

(Don't sit there, no)

And the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child.

(Alright, I'm so alone; I'm so lonely, baby)

[Keyshia Cole:]

Why don't you pick up the phone and dial up my number?

And call me my baby.

I'm waiting on you.

Why don't you pick up the phone and dial up my number?

Just call me up baby.

I'm waiting on you

guess u alreadi did tt...

m i reli ur baby?????

tts wad u changed frm calling me..last night...

i hope its true...

i wana b ur baby...if its jus onli for a moment...

2008-06-11T23:35:00.002+08:00

tdy is rather okes luhhs...
finali do d big canvas drawing lers...
mr tan is so bloody idiotic...
draw d fresh flowers oso is he sae d...
nw he ask me draw dead one for final..
i dun noe how to start my painting lerrss..
its so bloodi messy and i dunno where is where...

and for d 4 yrs in sec sku,i've been spending my june holidaes in CGH..
last nite mummikins recieved msg frm ahyi tt ahma is in d hospital again..
i was like dere goes my free tyms...[cus stil nd go bk sku so not considered holidae]
spend all my tym in d hospital arbo ppl will sae..
sae tt I holidae at home so freeeeeee y nvr go c ahma... so bo pian...
1200 go c ahma...1400 go home.. 1700 go c ahma again... 2000 go home...
c so i mus liddat den ppl wun sae...
but oso no use...nw my clothes r like proper she'll find sumthing to sae boud me d...
first my clothes..
nxt my hair.. cover my eyes oso i kana sae... like its my hair for god's sake... lidat oso sae...
den nth to sae aniting i sae or jus randomly kip saying i like ah lian...
wad d fuck?
i ah lian????!!!!???
wells, daddikins and mummisie saes she's jus jealous as she's short and fat...
not like me..
and tt my parents r tt cloze to me..she oso jealous..
her mummisie loves me too as im her onli niece she oso jealous...
jus cus her mom got aniting she will go nana here nana dere.. so she's jealous...
wadeva luhhs..if she's not my bloodi blood related cousin..i dun even gifa damn man!!!
jus my luck...

but nvm... i stil got my baby....
ahahaha..
he finali msged me...
he's gifing me signals...
i duno how..
he used to call me steph..but..
hmms..he sorta changed d wae he calls me...
he calls me sygg or baby...
ahahaha..
im goin crazi...
i dunno wads goin on..i dunno if its true though...
but i like d fact tt he cares for me...
hmms...
it could b one sided...
i dunno!!!

tml goin watch kungfu panda wif myy twinn,ayus.inal and alex...
suppose tris too?
i duno he's working..
its more or less d first tym i hand ard late wif my frenz...
xcept tt dae at d bbq..i guess dey noe it'll end late too..
cuz its alwaes a no frm either mummisie or daddikins...
well, dey were myy age once...
so like wow!! suddenli dey both stil oke wif d idea...
but dis tym got curfew...

nvm...
im addicted to nicole scherzinger's watever you like...
i miss myy baby!!!

2008-06-11T23:12:00.002+08:00

[Intro]

Ladies and gentlemen

I know what you want

She's hot as a stove

Her name is Nicole

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

What you want?

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

[Verse 1]

Boy, you want my body

Wanna ride it like a Harley

Once or twice around the block

I bet I'll have you saying whoa, whoa!

First stop, let me pop

Drop like a helicop

Pay attention on me

While I show you the scenario

You charming me boy

Yeah boy, you're charming me

Just like this beat is gonna do on the radio

Damn, I thought you knew me by way you're talking to me

You get any closer to me

Then I might just have to let it go

Something 'bout that cocky thing,

you got me wanna see what's really going on

[Pre-Hook]

I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna (Ladies an gentlemen)

I'm gonna do anything you wanna (I know what you want)

I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna (She's hot as a stove)

I'm gonna anything you wanna (Her name is Nicole)

[Hook]

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

Yeah Work it out girl

[Verse 2]

Make a bed

You put the cat in the nap

I'll tell you what side I get,

all night lover

See the cheek

Wanna see me, make it speak

Watch it while mommy teaching

I won't stutter I can tell you had never had a touch

Hood up while I show this much,

I'll do that for ya

Playing a step

Promise I can make it rain

Lemme see that suger, king You like that, don't cha

Something 'bout that cocky thing

You got me wanna see what's really going on

I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna (Ladies an gentlemen)

I'm gonna do anything you wanna (I know what you want)

I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna (She's hot as a stove)

I'm gonna do anything you wanna (Her name is Nicole)

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

[Verse 3 - T.I.]

See me in the back

Chick like that

Get you to run around

But i can hear like that

I said you run around

I'm the shit like that

Eat it, beat it, till it's swollen

You gonna need an icepack

I'll tell her big thang poppin'

Let me hear you say that

Lay back, play that, purp, Kush, blowing in the may back

Work my company

Three year and you're wanting me

Imagine what they done to me

On top of me, up under me

Accept no imitation baby

Other can't be hatin'

And they'll be all in ya face

I mean all in the wussy

See, I can take you on vacation

A weekend ball in the "A"

You hit me up four in the mornin'

What you callin' to stay, shorty

Something 'bout that cocky thing

You got me wanna see what's really going on

[Hook]

I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna (Ladies an gentlemen)

I'm gonna do anything you wanna (I know what you want)

I do the thing, I do the thing you wanna (She's hot as a stove)

I'm gonna do anything you wanna (Her name is Nicole)

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

I do, I do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I'll do whatever you like

I can do, I can do

Wait a minute, motherfucker

[Outro]

I've been looking all night,

Wanna kiss you one time

Mommy do what you like

Go head pull it pull it pull it pull it?

First you gotta get it right

I can love you long time

I become a big crime

Then i'll pull it pull it pull it pull it?

What she want it uptight

I promise a goodnight

Girl, you're gonna sleep tight

When I pull it pull it pull it pull it

Wanna look at your eyes

When you get the big prize

Gonna give it a kind

When I pull it pull it pull it pull it

2008-06-08T21:01:00.005+08:00

i dun noe wad i was saying last nite
but hu cares??? ahaha
tml got art.. n haf to face tt bloody no balls teacher..so yea..a quick one den...
ani waes d purpose of me blogging again is cus of dises pictures..
got summore scenery ones wich i tink will scare pplif i put all liddat so ya i slowly put luhhs uhh..
d was taken on fridae...

dis is daddie take d...quite dark though...
i sorta forgot to remove myy glasses but yea..jus.."cheeze!!"myy specs matches myy shirt..its nicer den i wearing it in sku...

dis was taken wen i peii daddie go smoke..he din smile in d first shot so i bu shuang..but myy hair is nicer in d first one though..
first shot..like tao onli my daddie..
was waiting for d ppl to arrive so i nth to do..but dis is too high a shot... ahaha..can't c myy eyes..
dis is better..but im so white wen im wif daddie..he's dark!!!i like ghost liddat..whoooo!!!
random shot i guess..daddie was testing d camera...

wiff mummie on in cable... its allrites as we were almost at d top and she's shaking!!!
im 165m up over nth but air!!! whoots!!!
d flash spoils all...its either can c me arbo can c d citi... so yea wadeva...
dis is not a prepared shot luhhs...awkward position...

c wad i meant? either got flash can c us arbo no flash turns out liddat...

relised y mummi wasn't so much in d pic huh?

cus she was kinda bz as dis was a compani thingy so left me and my dear father to take rule d cameras as we got nth to do!!! ahahaha...

2008-06-08T00:15:00.002+08:00

saturdae.. did post is kinda draggy and complainy so.. sorre!!!
tdy was fun luhhs..d hiphop klass..we did a bit bit part of reggae and myy idol!!! BRITNEY SPEARS!!! i dun care wad u sae bout her but i still love her!!!
back to d stori we did BRITNEY SPEARS.. its not tt hot as i expected it to be and i'm kinda shy tdy... somehow... cus dere were peeps hu brought frends in and sum were boys and myy super tight pants i dunno yy the hell it got supperrrrrrrrrr loose!!! i could jus pull it down my hips without unbuttoning d zipps or buttons luhh.. imagine it was suppose to b hip hop so im todance wif tt pants..so d picture in ur mmind shuld b i pulling my pants up and up wenever it decides to slip down..my hoodie din help in covering either.. jacky was tt good till he was like dis 'gay' cus he was much more faminine den us!!! d wae he walked was even sexier den d PCDs!!!!
tdy's was reli tiring luhh but still got ballet aft tt so im quite beat.. but i can't slp!!!
well aft klass.. went for dinner wif cheryl;her mummikin; & aunti Gwen..
dunno yy she likes to suan cheryl luhhs..dis tym wa boud d eyes..well she din haf a choice to haf double eyelids wad.. AG was like 'nana ur eyes v nice u do sumthing? gals wif double eyelids are nicer as it enhances her beauti.' i was like no its natural i jus put eye liner.. not its not tt thick cus i noe i'll perspire...[speaking of perspire,i came across an article in d straits time i tink.. as it was writing bout how perspiration helps lose weight or sumthing..but i guess d writer failed english as d head line was" HOW CAN SWEAT HELP PPL LOSE WEIGHT" sweat? ppl dun sweat!!! ppl perspire luhh!! like omg!!!] ani waes got bk home wif mummikins and daddikins... and im blogging now.. ahaha..but im freaking tired...i wanna join jacky's hip hop thingy..mus suggest to him not to make classes at AVCC.. arbo my parents wun allow me to go luhhs!!! damn irritating!!!
feel like killing myself recentli... my mom is constantli giving me attitude wen she's stressed.. itf killing works..it'll solve probs..i'd do it.. to bad it onli creates more probs..oh and i dun understand my mum.. she's alwaes saeing..ppl will tink of u like..... ppl will sae did ppl will sae tt.. hell wif dem..dey not happi 4? its me wad..im liddat so ? y do u even fcuking care wad dey sae? cus i dun care!! if u dun care u can b urself..but if u do care..wad u wanna wear? i dun understand singaporeans..y do dey even care wad teens wear? i mean..i rather b in USA.. i can wear i bikini top and a bloodi short skirt and no one will sae aniting luhhs...so y cant singaporeans b more open? its not ur bodi tt ur showing..its mine!! for god's sake..its mine..so wad?i let ppl c so? whre does it affect u?ure jus so low minded..or maebe ur jus jealous as i bu gan lou but i gan.. so?its my problem!!!!! my dad allowas so? my mum's becomming liddat too.. i reli dunno wad's wrong.. she's reli creating war..tts y i rather b wif my frens..dey dun care cus dey're oso liddat.. but she's getting better though..she's adapting to my style and being more open.. guess dad talked sum sense tt dere's a genration gap btwn us and tt she's gotta understand tt we've got sum STYLE and influences..BRITNEY does tt..she wears tt so can i.. so its gd tt u'll c my style?well..finali she got to allow me to wear black nail polish.. she used to b ppl wiill sae tt ur sum bar gal.. sum belacho..or prositutes.. but dis tym she even helped me put luhh..so.. try to get ur moms to adapt to u gals!! i noe u feel d same wae.. and dun care wad ppl sae..its u..how u feel..and how u tink..dose ppl are jus so low...a bit of klass oso dun haf...

wells, din noe 'L' was tt bitchy luhhs... last last last wk at amara ahe was making out wif sumone hu is not her bf; last last wk she confessed tt she wasnt a virgin no more..n it was to d guy she was wif cus of his money and she kept saying she doen't love him and stuff..but yea it was lost to him.. and relised tt she's hafving a fling wif sum guy she sae frm '369' d jj frm ahs if im not wrong..as in to sae she's goin to tution wif him and dtuff and he turns her mood up wwen she's down.. last wk sae she skipped klass to d singapore flyer and tt 'D' proposed to her to b his gf.. she accepted but ya d fling thing was still on and d worst thing was tt jj had a gf himself? and ya it was likw so.. i dunno wad to sae luhhs.. and tdy 'P' sorta asked me if 'L' said aniting bout her to me cus she was like suspecting sumhow..tt 'P''s bf was contacting 'L' or shuld i sae 'E' contacting him..since tt dae at amara, 'L' was using 'P''s hp to msg 'P''s bf luhhs dey were like passing d fone ard...and sumhow 'L' got 'P''s bf's n.o and recently she had been msging him to pass msges to 'P' luhhs.. i wan lik wth? den its kinda like everi damn msg frm 'P''s bf to 'P' was 'L' here 'L' dere..'L' said...'L' said ... 'P' was damn pissed obviousli.. as d xcuse 'P''s bf gave was 'L' doent haf enuf msges to msg non singtel msges as her bill's gonna xplode ler.. so asked him to pass msg to 'P' liddat..i was tinking like u tink 'L' even care abt her bill xploding? hello? she is one of d few hu doen't care luhh..her bill can go up $100 + $200 n u're saying she cares? tt gal sprees on everi damn thing she likes and she doent care bout d price luhhs..so its jus a lousi xcuse as we noe her for more den 10 yrs oreadi!!!we noe her character luhh!!! and if she has sumthing to tell 'P' she can alwaes call her wad.. its not like she nvr calls her liddat.. to sae 'L' saes tt 'P' is her best frend...sumhow 'L' noes bout 'P' and 'P''s bf qurralls and she sorta apologised to 'P' i mean..wth?seriousli u dun flirt wif ur 'BEST FRIEND''s bf and den apologised aft tt but d thing is she still had d cheek to tell 'P' was "if i had sumthing to sae i'll ask him to pass d msg to u.." obviousli deir relationship is nth more den jus 'oh he'd jus my best friend's bf' kinda thing animore..i guess dere's sumthing more dden tt.. and its seriousli getting us angry and its spoiling her 'angel' image luhhs..
wells advise to 'L' dun tink we're best frends means tt i'll help u..dis tym..im reli shocked and i reli dun understand u dae by dae animore.. u're not d gal we used to noe..tt innocent gal hu used to hate boys? d gal hu said tt u wun get married? y r u doin dis to torture 'P'? i dun understand..cant u even tell tt 'P' cares for u? she is so good to u and to tink ure doin dis to her?
its alreadi liddat in amara.. wad else u wan? ure showing us d bad side of u? i mean u did tt to 'K' din u? so i suppose dere's alwaes another tym for dis? so u reli did it.. like u've ruined d image..reli..
advise to 'P' i ting its best u break up wif him.. i mean..he's not treating u rite..and if her accepts her telling him to pass mases to u thru him, means he's a 2 timer as well so i seriousli tink tt is he is serious wif u he should ask her to call u or smthng instead.. its not fair tt ur're alwaes helping him and forgiving him.. jud do wad i did luhhs..he was liddat to me so i guess urs is jus as bad.. i dun trust him..i du like d idea if her texting him and tt he's msging u less den he's msging her.. so.. gal dun b silli..like me..for my bloodi 2 yrs trusting him..cus we trust em too much tts y dey go ' so wad if i flirt wif u? i'd jus hafva erase my msges to u..and can sae i go out wif my frends instead..or im working talk to u later..she wun noe aniwaes..she trusts me..' gal i reli tink u should break up wif him and stop spending tym wif dis type of peeps...TRUST me u'll feel better aft tt..guess he'll b begging u to go bk wif him aft tt.. and b d one hu dump him not unless he reli falls for her and he'll dump u!!!

guys..gif ur gals a break and if u reli is serious wif her, dun fling ard her bk!!! and not especialli wif her BEST friend!!! imagine she doin tt to u!!! well its best to stay single but its also allrites to fall in love but not to d standard tt u reli trust dis guy.. getta noe him b4 aniting..his true colours will appear soon enuf for u to c!!

2008-06-07T23:23:00.003+08:00

yeesterdae was allrites though d weather kinda ruined myy plans and mood...
well i shuld sae fridae instead as im blogging like in d earli morning of sundae..
went for d lit seminar in d morning... saw myy bimbo;biatch and ada walking towards mee..
seriousli i din actuali see dem..i was too engrosed actuali in my song..ahaha but wasn't tt blind till i totalli ignored dem...sat d bus to sku actuali sat 1 round as we quite lazi to walk tt far...went towards d gate n saw noone!!! not even d bus!!! we tot d bus had gone w/o us and tt we were tt late till we got left out..asked d securiti uncle n he was like...no dere wasnt ani buss at all!!! we relised all d peeps were in d canteen..n tt we were stuuupidli earli..

d seminar was superrrrrrrr borring....imagine d whole 1 and 1/2 hours looking at slides liddatand listening to her telling us stories...i doubt anione was reli listening everione broke into deir own lil conversations.. yea i noe cus i doubt myy biatch and bimbo was listening..i noe tasha was..we had no hand outs and dey onli gave us wen it was gonna end so we talked to keep us bz? ahaha..but all was tt boring and i tink dis gal's sku was it chij st nics..was super irritating luhhs..i guess d whole bloddy sku came and tt all deir frens were all around luhhs..dey either walk up and down to look for deir frens arbo dey walk in and out of d hall..as we sat at d upper side of d hall,d distraction was major as d door was 2 rows in frnt thru a pathway.. its bad enuf tt ur alreadi late and d bloody door keep on slamming as dey keep on goin in and out.. its was bloodi irritating as u can picture it..wells..din getta wear home clothes so gotta sit d bus back to sku den home i go.. but bloody hell;it rained and we were like stucked back in sku..but we cant do aniting though...

bought a pack of chicken rice on d wae bk home well tt was d onli thing i could afford wif tt lil money i had left..ahaha..

left home kinda late n d damn buss came 45 mins later..its alwaes d case..wen u're in a hurry,d bus takes it tym to arrive..but wen ur not in a rush, d bus keeps cumming like dey haf nth to do liddat...

wells, took a train to mit mummikins at her office and ya..felt damn awkward luhh as ppl ard keep on looking at me..i ddunno yy as i was wearing a oke oke short skirt and a t-shirt and a shawl wif flip flops onli..dunno wat the hell dis ppl are looking at luhhs but i could feel d stares and i jus look back dey kinda turned away but wen i turned back i still felt d stares...

well i scampered out of d train as fast as i could to kinda shield myselfs frm d stares..damn freaky luhh..

went to d singapore flyer wif mummikin's office so she was like i had to wear 'formal' as d big bosses are dere..i was like it's nth grand wad..ppl wears shorts and t-shirts luhh.. iwas lyk wadeva so i wore liddat..ahaha..ate at seafood paradise and den sat d flyer..... it was not aas high as i expected it to b.. and b4 u even realised, half an hour was gone..cus u'll be running here and dere taking pictures of our beautiful island..it was allrites but d going down was a lil freaky cus d cabin kinda jerked a bit bit.. reli freaki as we were like 165m over nth but air..wi;; put pictures d nxt tym i blogg..cus i jus relised daddikins din bring up my camera..its in d car and i had loads of pictures...

2008-06-05T21:54:00.003+08:00

d day passed like reli fast tdy...
woke up kinda late...n den prepared to mit Tiara n gang to singapore poly...
i was one of d latest but not d latest to reach smal mac...ahahaha...
i accompanied Shikin to OCK as she was dying to eat smthng frm dere but she kip saying nvm luhh later later...so i was like if u nk makan we go nw..i accompany you luhh..since we're waiting for d 2 'royalites'...she still kinda hesistated luhh but den i was lke..b4 i change my mind..u better make up ur mind..she finali gave in..we walked towards cs...at d mac dere saw alexander, jia en n alzeena.. dey were inside chatting i suppose... said hi den we walked off..Shik bought her stuuff as i bought bubble tea...we walked bk n on d wae tiara called n said tt d 2 peeps were finali here..we took d train n met aryani n hafiz.. we were sum kinda 'angels' tdy..we've been standing, sitting, standing, sitting as we let d old people sit..as d train had quite alot of people... and i let dis old lady sit luhh but i asked her and dis 20+ yr old gal in front of her walked towards my sit and was like thank u thank u...i was like EXCUSE ME WTH?... but yea.. we rched dover n into SP.. we were all like 'SO DIS IS IT?' its damn ulu kinda place luhh.. and d corridors at d klassrooms are like dose haunted skus in d haunted movies..damn scarry..but d side of d road towards d canteen n up d stairs felt likeur in mount faber where no one was n it jus feels like ur trekking in d forest...d onli gd thing was tt dere was pizza hut.kfc.popular,2 damn big swimming pool, 2 damn huge field and d sports hall...tts all...seriousli, d sku have NO LIFE at all!!!
well, aft tt went to Taka wif d gals n d 2 boys...as yani and fiz went for deir date n shik went bk to tampines..we went to art fren den buy sum snacks to eat den went to take d train wif pamm, haeqal n thobbie back... i went to mummikins's office so left d 3 of em to travel back to tampines...
tml got lit..damn boring...n d worst of em is tt we hafve to wear sku clothes!! seriousli...it ruined my planns!!! cus im goin out aft tt!!!haizz..nvm den..we cant do aniting bout it...

2008-06-03T22:50:00.004+08:00

this song is like so wad im feeling luhh..but yea...im addicted to it too...its so meaning ful...

BLEEDING LOVE

Closed off from love i didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass before you know it your frozen ooh
But something happened for the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground,
found something true
And everyones looking round thinking i'm going crazy ooh
But i dont care what they say,
i'm in love with you,
They tried to pull me away,
But they dont know the truth,
My hearts crippled by the vein that i keep on closin
You cut me open and i
Keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love,
i keep bleeding,
i keep keep bleeding love,
keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love,
You cut me open ooh
Trying hard not to hear
but they talk so loud
Their piercin sounds fill my ears try to
fill me with doubt
Yet i know that the goal is to keep me from falling ooh
Nothings greater than the rest that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness i see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that im going crazy
Maybe,
maybe
But i dont care what they say
im in love with you
They tried to pull me away
But they dont know the truth
My hearts crippled by the vein that i keep on closin
You cut me open and i
Keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love,
i keep bleeding,
i keep keep bleeding love,
keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love,
You cut me open
And its draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see
I dont care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My hearts crippled by the vein that i keep on closin
Ooh you cut me up and i
Keep bleeding
and i keep keep bleeding love,
keep bleeding,
Keep keep bleeding love,
keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love
Oh you cut me open
and i keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love,
keep bleeding,
keep keep bleeding love
Oh you cut me open
and i keep bleeding
keep keep bleeding love.

2008-06-03T21:57:00.002+08:00

tdy is like so fast...well maebe cus we've got d literature seminar
it was heartland... daren shiau was dere to talk..seriously,it was fcuking boring...
its like we're reporters writing his biography..cus everi sentence is linked to himself..
its like suddenly he talks about waiting for his girlfriend to arrive as she's 1 and 1/2 hrs..and nth happened.. we're like so y r u saying dis and how is it related to d novel?
people asks him questions tt we dun understand but he sorta like dunno howda reply us luh...we're like r u d author anot? he's so different frm haresh shama... HS willl xplain to us stuff liddat and will ANSWER our questions...and he talks clearli n xplains our doubts...
DS doesnt!!! he jus blah thru all tt he noes and tt he dun xplain y he uses d characters in dis way n wad is deir purpose in d novel...so it was seriousli damn boring luhh...
went bk to sku aft d 'lecture'... on d bus i 'fought' wif khairi for ath's psp...i wanted to play...but yea he hogged on to it luhh...[now i noe y ppl are like 'obsessed' wif psps..its damn addictive]mit Pamm and Elaine to makan wen rched sku...den go for art... as we predicted,mr tan scolded us luh..he sae tt we're so slow and stuff...but i managed to do my layout..big thanks to Nisarat...was to go to d street soccer court aft tt though... but went to Elaine's hus b4 tt and it kinda rained...so yea my twin came over to her block to mit us...dey both got hungry so walked ard tm to find food... yea it was abt 4+5 so alot of restaurant are hafing student's meal..ended up goin to cafe cartel to eat...
well, din getta mit d blogshop gal at 6 as she jus end sku...
so she said to mit ard 7+8 liddat i was like okes lor so i pei-ed Elaine n my twin to mit Fairus n inal... dere was abt 6 of em dere though... but i left kinda fast as mummikins and daddikins rched earlier den xpected so left em and go makan wif my parents...
while waiting for d gal...wadeva her name was...
i din reli eat though...my stomach is rejecting all tt i eat...
ya and i alwaes feel full...so its like i dun haf d mood to eat and stuff..
Elaine-y said tt maeb im jus stressed...
im like tired tdy but by repeating tt im tired wun work but wen its reli tym to slp im wide awake...its gd oreadi as i din slp during d seminar...hahahaha...
he was in sku tdy...
chatted wif him ytd on d fone..he din wanna cum but i asked him to...
and he reli did!!! OMG!!! i like v long nvr c him liddat...
i dun care wad dey say cus im in love wif you...

Real tears are not those that fall
from the eyes and cover the face,
but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul.
It takes a life time to find someone,
but only a moment to fall in love.
If you love someone you give everything you can
and not expecting on any return.
You never truly love a person until the mere thought of you hurting
that loved one is enough to break your own heart
Never say goodbye when you still want to try.
never give up when you still feel that you can take it.
never say you no longer love a person when you can't let go..
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,
but its also true that we don't know what we've been missing on until it arrives.
You can fall in love in an instant.
It's letting go that takes time.
A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one you love.
A hug is just a hug until its the one your thinking of.
A dream is just a dream until you make it come true.
Love is just a work until its proven to you.
The more you love, the more you lose a part of you.
Yet you dont become less of you are,
instead you end up being complete...
Love is the beautiful sky after a thunderstorm.
I wish dreams were like wishes
and wishes came true cause in my dreams im always with you!!
There are 3 great things in this world.
The first thing is for you to love someone.
The second thing is for someone to love you back
and the third greatest thing is for the first and second thing to happen at the same time ...
Love can touch just one time,
but it can last for a life time.
Don't frown, because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.
Love wasn't put in your heart to stay,
because Love isn't Love until you give it away.

2008-06-01T23:19:00.002+08:00

somehow...somewhere...someone...
i'm think im falling in love... again...

In the morning when I wake up
And I open up my eyes,
I feel an aching in my heart
That's when I realize.
How much I really miss you
And long to have you near.
My heart is filled with sadness,
And my eyes are filled with tears.
At different times throughout the day,
I find I'm missing you.
And I wonder if, perhaps a bit,
Maybe you miss me too.

he's like so sweet..

but im afraid i'll misunderstood wadeva it is...

sumhow...

im afraid...

but...

im happy at d same tym...

I fell in love with you

It was like a dream come true
You chased away my pain & sadness

And replaced it with joy & happiness

I'm so crazy about you

I don't know what to do
Everytime I look into your eyes

I see a love that never ends
They shine like the stars in the moonlit sky

Shine on me so beautiful and so bright
They're like beams of light

That light up my dark and lonely night
I love everything you say and do

'Cuz who I love... is you
I don't care what people say

'Cuz I'm gonna love you anyway

friends told me different things...
some as not to trust him much...
some as to sae "right on!"...
its getting complicated...
maebe i shuld haf not stick so cloze before...
maebe its jus a mistake...
it maebe an misunderstanding...
i dunno wad to do...and dun ask me hu...
its a secret n i dun wanna open up...
cus its not official...and im so confused...
seriousli... he's so SWEET!!!

2008-06-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

most pictures are taken by ms Q-raisha, my slut...
n yea u can see n tell tt RELC was damn boring...
so almost all d pictures are taken in d toliet...
where we slacked...

been lazi to post recently..din wanna go online... so i'll post sum pics during RELC d last few daes..thanks to my slut, i gotta slack abit outside in d toliet...

2008-06-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

jus came back from GSS!! its like damn alot of ppl lor...
and im sorta dead frm all d walking...n weight lifting...
its a real treat at d same tym as we're actuali exercising...
by shopping ur walking so it sorta is an exercise...by carrying all d shopping bags ur lifting weights so yea...
actuali go orchard d 'mu di' is buy paint brush d...
sumhow im a shopping addict so i couldnt onli buy tt sumting i wan i've gotta buy sumting else...
yea resulting me n mummikins carrying more den one bag home...
went to art friend at taka to get my stuff..n yea see wad dey had...if i din walk out of taka departmental store i wouldnt even noe tt dere is a damn awesome place luh..
all art related shops on a level..all selling different types of art needs...its damn cool!!!
art friend was like biggg n it feels like 'spotlight'...
deir varity is alot...

we were at metro n i got cranky cus mummikins was lookin fot her clothes cus she had a $20 metro voucher n ya i got bored...so i walked ard n sat on every chair in sight luhh...
it was actuali d chair tt took my attention though..but its cool though cus its one of d different maniquines ard..most maniquines stands still..but dis one is lying down...

d colour jus rocks luhh!!!

well i sorta saved alot n spent alot tdy...
well,tts what girls do...
+ i'm not afraid to admit...IM A SHOPPING ADDICT!!!

2008-05-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

it had been gila thru dis daes...
sumhow im like alwaes sleping... ahahah
I WANT MY HOLIDAY!!!!
ytd was hiccup day...
tdy is bo chap dae...
sku's a bore...n its getting suckier by day...
d RELC thingy iznt doin ani help either...
mdm lmc was like "take off tt earring...if im a boy i wun like u wif tt kind of earing..{or was it i wun wan a girl wearing tt kindda earring}"...i was like if u were a guy...i mite not even look ur way...+ its guys hu'll like me n i dun nd u to like me... ahahaha
nth reli happen though.. tts y i said sku was boring... dere's no life!!!
but i'm glad tt dere's my bimbo;yani,biatch;ath,slut/best friend;Q...
n of course pammie[sumhow..inn her 2 ppl world recently];cs[vice CEO];hong[the star?] n my ex laogong[jus like my char kway tiao]...
mr ang says fridae n mondae[i tink] maths lessons poa will take over..tt means we haf like so a long break... hahah... shiok sial!!! woots!!!
it had been rainning dese 2 daes... n d ava rm d aircon is she shiok tt i can slp thru mr jagjit's lecture...its like a storyteller reading stories for ppl to fall aslp?
he likes to li ti change topic and get drifted away wif tt topic...
his sons are like bloody rich luhhs...
got professor luh;financial controller luh; summore dunno wad high post one luh...
heard d $$$ dey earn i was like:"cher can i marry ur son!" ahaha...
live a tai-tai's life wor!!! but too bad luh his youngest son is like 30yrs old...and d richest one is like as old enuf to b my dad?

Love, if I weep it will not matter,
And if you laugh I shall not care;
Foolish am I to think about it,
But it is good to feel you there.

2008-05-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

for the love of dance....

thru the pain and for the love...

will hang on forever...

once a dancer, always a dancer...

a shard of mirror for a broken reflection

a pocket watch with a cracked face

a cache of herbs to burn for protection

all will send me to another place and time.

somehow..somewhere...somewhat..someone is waiting...

2008-05-26T16:33:00.000+08:00

drop all d topics...im not looking for a fight...i jus wanna get out of jyss...sum ppl tinks tt dey are so perfect though...i admit..im not... n not everione likes me..thru wadeva reasons..its my life..why d fcuk do u care... its my blogg..i'd sae aniting i want to..if ur not happy u can alwaes click d red button on d top right hand corner...u dun haf to feel hurt abt things ppl sae... + im a girl.. its allritae to gossip allrite... oh ya..n sumhow my middle name is bitch so yea..i bitch abt ppl.. so? if u dun care n u take it tt its not u den its not u... i didnt mention names so if u think its u..ya..its u but if u tink its not u..its not u... sumhow...sumwhere...sumone....

enuf said i tink its clear... im not looking for a fight... u can tink aniwae u wan even if its not u u may tink its u.. so wadeeva lor..

maebe its jus a misunderstanding...i'll shutt upp...

2008-05-25T19:25:00.000+08:00

im addicted to dis song..
though d show is about lesbians..
F.Y.I... I"M STRAIGHT!!!
i jus love d song..
its so emotional

2008-05-25T16:17:00.000+08:00

snapshot from blood sister..
JGT performances

dis is fairus's.. he's like so hot!!!

dis is kak mira's and aildilin's
a short part of us for d background though..it's better den ours

like dis is ours..
im not as happi wif it.. cus i DUN look GOOD!!!

n.. my darling and syg's performance..
Nazri and louis is soo CUTE!!!

x0x0x0 to my twinn!!!
she did d recording..<3

2008-05-25T14:38:00.000+08:00

somehow d pic turned... but its like d nicest one amongst d others..

kak mira.. she's a babe!!!

i hate dis pic though.. its one wich i dun look oke..d one wif ayus in d airport is nicer though...

i dunno howdda spell his name but ya..he's one of d guys frm d sec5 band.. n he keep insisting to take pics wif me..dis pic is stil okes.. ahaha!!

was kinda lazi to go online on fridae.. ahaha

aniwaes i'll sae wad i wanna sae tdy... for a make up..

23rd may

it was one of d betta daes in sku tdy...

we had big breakfast...

and ya..i woke up earli to cook d campbell..

was to cook noodles actuali but i pity jian hong luh..he take buzz..so he sorta passed d job to me... ahaha..

aft bigbreakfast i dunno wad happened..i went up to d hall wif kak ainy, kak mira n kak daya..

we sorta got into 'work' and did our makeups..

oh i forgot to mention went up eif tt irritating gal too..

she was like a dog...

thruout oke..

seriousli..like wen we were puting on our make up she stood in front of d mirror doin nothing.. she jus kept on lookin at us..and seriousli..try hafing a gal syanding nxt to u staring at ur everi move and especialli wen u're putin liquid eyeliner.. its so fcuking pressurissing luh...

n dere is like ppl wantin to put make up oso cannot...cus she's standing dere n dey dunno wad to sae or how to sae... so i jus like told her to sit down as she's not doin aniting..indirectly telling her to siam... n guess wad..she said.."nvm..i dun like sitting down"..like wth..can't u get wad im trying to sae?

n she had been a dog d whole tym..wen i go toliet to take my stuffs,she follow... wen i sit outside,she oso follow.. seriousli..i dun haf freedom luh!!!

well, its finali over... aha!!

aft d performance. kak ainy,forgot to take her fone frm me luh.. and she jus left.. i dunno who's n.o to call and some nice advise from ayus.."why dun u call her?" told kak daya n kak mira so dey sorta saw kak ainy.. yea... she manged to call me.. and i went out to gif her her fone.. i feel bad as i left pamm alone...on d wae to mit kak ainy.. i sae tristan n shaffree.. i v long nvr c shaffree ler.. we alwaes wanna go bk together but his fone alwaes no prepaid so i cant connect to him..but yea he asked me to call him though.. he said he got money ler.. so.. ya..

went bk to klass for m.t.. somehow i fell asleep thru spelling..i nvr did fall asleep during spelling d lor... ahaha.. well, dere iz alwaes a first tym for everiting...

went to mac to eat aft mt as i was starving...went wif my eating kakies..

pamela,chinsiang and sebas..

chinsiang needed to head bk to sku for d japan talk and sebas n i waited wif pamm for him.. it was like sitting dere for 1 -2 hrs.. aha!!

called shaffree but he said he got ..he said he'll call me bk wen he wanna go bk..so we went to busstop n waited for bus wif sebas while pam and cs send us den go dating..went to raffles to mit mummikins..wells, he called bout 7+.. he was like "baby,im sorry...i was at bedok.. my frend got problem luh.. aniwaes where are you?" i was oreadi at raffles city wif my mom shopping.. ahaha.. ya he sorta lost his voice sumhow wen i texted him at nite..

well he promised to go bk wif me if he got sku during d hols..

he'll do it if he wan tt kiss he's been asking frm i dunno wen..

he makes my dae though.. n i guess i've gotta sae dis back to him..

he's alwaes saein to me..

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

2008-05-21T21:09:00.001+08:00

21th may...
i dun wanna talk abt sku..
sku sucks!!!
i dunno wadd's happening to me.. im alwaes drifting away from class..and i alwas freaking tired...
i dunno y but its jus so wadever...
im so xcited!!!
i jus learned d jgt dance...
thanks to sum ppl's "comments", we sorta changed a whole part...
and i jus learnt it ytd and tdy...
15mins practise..hmmms...
im so afraid i'll go hay wire during d performance...

tt girl is fcuking irritating...
goddammit!!!!
not d one in class... [she's one hu spoils ppl's moods]
cant she like haf her own style?!?!?
for god's sake...mus u like own everiting i haf?
dun u even noe wad tym is klass?
u're attending klass d same tym as me sumtyms more den me...
u reali dunno or wad?
u ask but u stil appear tt tym...
d more u ask me to reply u 'asap', d more i dun wanna reply u luhh...
alwaes i dun reply u find ur mom to ask my mom...
wad d fcuk?!?
like ur're d one hu's taking xam luh and im not.. so who d fcuking hell shuld b one askin for klass tym and who's d one takin xam?!?
if i was a star i'll make u d president of my fan club...
cant u set ur own trend?
by wearing d same leotard for ballet thruout d wk iznt helping...
im like so not wearing d leotard luhh..
cant u jus leave me alone?
ur like eveiting askin me to reply asap..i reply u u say i sound so harsh..
wad d fcuk?
iznt tt wad u wanted?
try having a friend hu keeps msging u to reply her asap...
all damn msges...
'it urgent..reply asap'
FCUK U!!!!
now u noe y d gals dun like u?
ur irritating tts y...
its oreadi sway enuf to b in d same sku as u oke..
i sorta lived for almost 4 yrs oreadi...
so jus fcuk off my life!!!!
i noe u wanna dance for jgt.. jus admit it
dun act ler lor... goddammit!!!
all msges are urgent..all not urgent u oso classify as urgent..wad da fcuk?
does "ya.oke.nvm no one will care boud us cus we're not d lead.n rehersals starts at 4+,ends at 630 latest.tts all i noe."sounds HARSH?
"i dun noe i dun care i dun even bother...cant u go find out urself?and wear wadever u wan its not like ppl's gonna notice u liddat.."dis is mild harshness oke...u've not seen d harshness i'll talk straight to ur face b4...so dun sae tt wad im msging is harsh...
wad i'd sae straight in ur face will b harsh...
dun make me do it...
d one in klass is also damn irritating...
if not for u noein howdda shut ur mouth up, vanessa's gonna scream at u lor...
not onli her..i tink alot of us would...
ur voice is like super high pitched and like d ppl ur talking to iz not 5000miles away frm u luhh..
sku sucks okes..wif ppl liddat..
supper irritating!!

sorry ppl hu read dis...im jus reali irritated ler...
im not gonna care ler..im getting out of dis sku in a few mths tym..
i'll work to get out...

another boriiiiiiiiiiing dae

2008-05-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

20 may 2008

somehow, somewhere, i've changed

todae is d same.. well,it had alwaes been d same...

met pamela d same tym again...

she and jasmine all damn serious luhh...

math mock xam n dey're like studying and studying...

somehow d smart ppl are d ones who are so serious while ppl like us, no hope ler.. dere was d fire alarm tdy... like omgf luh..

we were d damn excited class as we gotta "slack" cus of it.. ahahaha..

so yea, we made d rong move... it was bloody sunni and we were one of d first classes to arrive n d nerd klasses draggged on d tym.. i dunno how "smart" dey can get.. under d hot sun we're like gonna melt..

well, things passed real quick though..

we miss mr chaw!!!

ms lin was our nxt teacher..

she kinda seemed sweet and she had her wae of 'controlling' d klass...

went to d lab tdy too... its like ok-ok nia not as fun though...

and den art was much betta.. but i spent 1 and a half hrs painting tt stupid real diff rose...seriousli luhh.. i still blurr wen pamm and elaine asked me to go bk 2 class... smthng was wrong wif Q and me again.. we got drama again.. ahahaha.. i'd finalli realizes y i could 'click' wif her.. we're both bitches and sluts..ahahaha..

got d same bloodi attitude...

mathhh test was hell..it was somewhat fcuking diffcult...

sat bside fadhly and somehow he got stucked wif d first question too...

i tink d onli serious ones were syahrin, pamm, cs, natasha and a few not so iimpt ones.. d rest of us chit chatted and yea it was hell noisy..

if we get a 1/100, it will b somewhat a 'miracle'?

supposed to mit kak ainy for dance but she skipped math and went bk to sengkang so yea..i didn't getta practice wif her..

went home wif jieling, jocelyn and twk..

oh btw, twk is my other scandal..im his mistress?

ahahaha..

so far i've mani scandals luhh..ermm yea..

tml stil haf bio and maeb practise?

i've not done history yt!!!

lmc is adding on to our misery..

god dammit!!!

well, somehow i haf a kinda bond wif claire..

smthng btwn us but we're not cloze though.. jus a feeling maebe?

ahahaha..

i hate to admit it but auntie dot's kueh salat is reli good!!!

stuck in my own world..gotta wake up from dis dream..

i'll continue to sleep but i'll nvr dream...

2008-05-19T23:57:00.000+08:00

im freaking out!!
he's scaring me luhh!!!
i hope tt it'll b d last tym i c my pcs on ur fone!!!
i'll find all my means to quarrel wif u if betta i rather fight wif u!!!i'll punnch u if i'd c it again!!!! stop acting like a fcuking i dunno wad...
ur a worst nightmare anione could haf..
ur like a pervert!!!
girls!!! stay away!!!
to u noe hu: if i had a gun i'll kill u...
u totali changed ur impression on me okes!!!
u bloody asshole!!!

amara hotel

2008-05-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

pictures in amara hotel singapore

a bit bit blurr but yea we're on d wae to 7 11
heads up! we're in d lift..

d most perrrrrrrfect one shot
"erm, helo we're underage?"

"liz! its slanted!"

"zoom,zoom,zoom!"

saturdae 17 may
the dead comes alive

i was reali "dead" ytd nite ler.. but i pulled myself up to help out wif d mly dance performance..
long story cut short.. i helpped wif d hair and mascara.. tidious work cus some gals kept blinking and i kinda got fed up luhh.. damn irritating!!!
but den nvm luh.. cus dey're stil young..
well somehow onli kak ainy n ii was left backstage wif dem wen we were not suppose to b in charge... whatever...
d performance was reali nice luh..its thumbs up for dem as it was deir first performance w/o d seniors... shocking news: d nxt v chair of jymd was batricia..
seriousli not backstabbing.. are you sure? dere were mani storries bout her tt ppl noes..
so we shuld wish d mdc good luck ler lor cus reali reali shocking as she may over power syazwani wif we were all afraid of luhh..like how kak daya did to my beloved senior,kak sarena...

well, went to uncle tze wen's new house.. woots.. d rich is reli d rich... its damn nice luh its like ur livin in a chalet luhh... omg imagine...
aft tt went to tampines mall for lunch wif karen jie jie and ming ming gor gor..
it was d new swensens..
frankly swensens is not as good now...
sticki chewi chocolate has like droped luhh..
im paying $7.60 for a scoop of chocolaate ice cream and a teaspoonful of chocolate chips wif 3 spoonful of hot fudge.. like what the hell luhh...
its pathetic now.. reli..

waited for tym to pass in cs..
went to "the bluez" and made a belt..
like cool luhh its 19 bucks for my name on d belt...
got 10% off thanks to pei qi jie jie...
staff price.. woots!!
went for ballet aft tt..
n i fell while spinning!!!
i kinda lost my balance and clara said i was in mid air b4 i fell..
i told her to take a picture luhh..
like so coooooool!!
but not so coooooool wen i dropped down..
4 a split sec i couldnt hear or feel aniting xcept a sharp pain on my elbow..
it was fun.. but pain luhh..
aft ballet, mom took liz and i to dinner and den to marine parade to pick pearline cus she would b alone and since its safer, we went over aft her sdg..
den to amara...
seriously it was super coool luhh
we checked out d rm and settled down den we went to 7 11 to buy snacks for movie marathorn tt nite... pearline bought her dinner though...
we went bk and we checked out the swimming pool on d 6th floor...
woots!! its small but ya reali nice..
we liked the bar.. and we got a little zi lian and took pictures since dere were 3 stools.. d light was wow!!! while liz was adjusting her self timmer cam, pearline n i got high and started singing 'fall for you' d wonderful song which had been stucked in my head for d past few daes..
it was one of d nicest pics i took dis yr.. somehow... cus ireali hate my looks and stuff..
well long stori...
we got back aft our foto shoots and carried on wif foto shoots in d hotel room..
will upload dose pics we took in d room aft i get em from pearline...

clara came and d movie marathorn started...
both clara and i dosed off thru d shows...
seroiusly... we were reali tired..
onli tt 2 crazi women still watchin show aft show..
i kinda woke up aft dey finished the white chicks..it was almost midnite n we watched shutter...
i watched 1/8 of d show wen i dosed off again.. i dunno y or how but yea..maebe d bed was too comfortable huh?
wen i was half asleep, clara gave us all a scare.. she suddenly sat up turned to us and said "what" and pulled her hair back and fell asleep again.. it was d beginning of shutter mind u..
i dunno wad happwned aft tt cus i was too comfortable..

d nxt morn was a noisy morn..
liz's and clara's morning alarm was ringing and we got up and down searchin for deir fones to off d alarm..it was a 6 o'clock alarm..
d hotel fone rang at 8, it was d hotel's morning call we requested.. liz answered and hung up..
aha so smart.. we slept till 10 + wen pearline and i woke up abt d same tym.. n saw d 2 sleeping beauties still sleeping...we kinda played dead a little... wen dey turned, we pretended we were stil sleeping til clara caught us.. we played fingerings infront of liz while she still slept on... she woke up ard 11 and we all washed up and went down to subway to buy our brunch..
it was movie marathorn again till duncan[liz's bf] came wif his fren a.k.a muthu...
we were half wae thru 'jus like heaven' and we got chased out by liz as she n duncan did god noes wad.. we were real bored we tot of goin to d empty space bside d pool but dere was a wedding reception...so ya.. we kinda sat outside d 11 floor lift lobby...and abt 20mins later, we cam scare liz.. we've got d keys to d room and in secret, pearline video d process...clara opened d door.. muthu giving "orders" n i giggling while holding d chocky box..
liz was doin god noes wad as she was on top of duncan.. wow..
somehow, we got caught... we jumped on d bed and continued our show..
sometym later, kim and her cousin came... liz's supposingly bff..
fucking irritating gal...
she came in making noise like she's "watched d show b4 and its reali good.." wen d show ended, pearline , clara and i sat at d window side and sae liz's lovebite on her neck... like wth okes.. its damn obvious its a love bite..
pearline and i some how believed she had some more some where...hmmm...
she beggged us to go swimming luhh..
n kim was like "dere's a wedding reception and d bride is freaking ugly"
we were like "helo..like u veri preeti liddat"
we followed dem down and ya.. we didnt swim luhh dey did...
d 3 of us jus chit chatted and den it was like 5+ ler so we went up to d hotel room as it was damn boring hearing kim scream and stuff..
we watched 'white chicks' b4 leaving...
it was abt 1930hrs wen we left d hotel for d train...
well, it makes no sense staying dere wen d host has other frens ard and kinda totali ignoring u..
so yea...
we continued "girl's talk".. since we kinda somehow got a sit in d train...
we wnt seperate ways and i bathed and stuff bk home.. ard 2100hrs..
i watched love you till death b4 sleepin...
it was kinda whateva though..
but it was damn fun chilling out wif my wild gang..

d last goodbye

2008-05-19T21:29:00.000+08:00

pictures taken in t2

pammie and me..somehow i love dis picture...

:ath ur reli skinni!!!?????!!!!!!!!
d second try cus i look reali fat in d first one.. ahahaha..

[ ambassadors of" candy empire"? ]
aha! my lovable partner...

d last picture as a class?w mr chaw
ermmm...3E1'07 gathering?

i jus gotta blog todae.. been buzy... well yeahs dis was wad happened frm fridae?

fridae 16 May 2008
the last goodbye

skul was as usual.. somehow,time passsed quickly..
but not everione was happy luhhs cus tdy would b mr chaw's last dae...
put it in simple terms, its d last time we'll c him in skul..
after skul was a dread thru chinese seeding programme...
a few of us turned up nia.. like so whatever luhh..
pammie n i kept on attacking d biscuits ms fang brought..ahahaha...
aft tt i went for d JGT rehersals...
its was smooth till our turn...
kak ainy was kinda mad cus of d ppl in back shooes...
it was a last minute thing for d both of us as in to cheoregraph d dance...
n some ppl kept on askin us to move forward and stuff wehich distracted us from our formation and stuff...ya it was hetic and stuff n tt dese ppl were 'ordering' us luhh..
d dance ended n we've got maniiii comments which dese comments wasn't "right"..
it was all totalli negative which dragged our mood more...
to save my juniors from d crazi dance cheoregraphy for the 3 songs, cheryl and i, we cheoregraph a dance to dance for kak mira and adilin's song...
somehow, crazi dance steps flowed in and out of our heads...
and we managed to complete d dance..
oh ya.. wen i go on pointe, im taller den alex!![ahahaha]
tot we were to stay til 7 for rehersals but mdm fara wanted the stage and thank her loads d performers got free of d bossy attitude of d black shoes ppl...

went for dinner wen i got home aft i changed and bathed,
rushed to d airport aft tt..
seriously, im like half dead luhh...
dad fetched me to T2,
i called pamm and she told me it was in T3 so i pia to take sky train to T3..
juz in tym i went in to d sky train d doors closed...
reached T3 i called pamm n we kinda played hide and seek..haha
was msging khai wen i found pamm,
obviously she was wif cs...
ok frankly speaking...
-its reali wierd to b a third wheel of 2 of ur cloze frens-
oh ya, guess what d both of dem, to run away from momo ren, dey used me as an xcuse luhh..
dey told selina dey all tt i lost my way and thus come to find me...thanks ah u 2..
we sat at d 2nd stall and waaited for mr chaw to arrive..
cheng wei and his frend came and sat wif us..
i spotted mr chaw and his famili..
some sec 2 idiots came running and shouting towards him...
we held back...cs said to call "our ppl" down.. gonna start a fight and c who's bigger..
haha.. damn funni luh.. cs and pamm started calling"our ppl" down..
china town came first wif d momo ren cs and pamm came to find me cus of 'ahem'
den jian hong's gang den, alex's gang..
now we were bigger...
we took pictures wif mr chaw n he went seperate ways...

it was onli abt 9+ and i didn't manage to like go home so fast cus mommikins and daddikins went to uncle sam's dad's funeral and i dun haf my hus keys...
so i sorta slagged wif d remaining ppl..
dey are d more awesomee ppl luhhs..
but im left alone wif hariza cus my pammie was wif cs..
but jian hong,pamm and cs went bk aft we visited d candy empire..karan bought chocolates for us.. while ayus played wif alex's vest.. and alex n his unbelievable 15 yr old fren played wif d trolly..up and down d slopes.. damn funni luh..
aft pamm dey all left, i pei hariza out at d carpark to smoke..
alex came out aft tt.. and dey all came out..
hariza said she's gotta go aft she finished d ciggrette.. i was like what cus i'll b d onli gal left wif d boys luhh and ya it was 10+ 11 ler..
d boys also wanted to go bk ler so alex told me to ask daddikins to pick me up at tampines...
ya so we took d train bk... well smthng happened b4 we went bk btwn tris and kelly..
well dun wanna dig into it luh so we sat in d train..
d boys got wild... seriously..
larry[if im not wrong] n fairus shuffled on d train.. damn funni cus dere was still ppl onboard and dey were looking at us...ahahaha.. it was so cool luhh..
d ride to tampines frm tanah merah was so packed.. we got squashed though..
i left dem and waited for daddikins at d back of d station...
d dae had been freakinly crazi and i was totali dead by d tym i got home...